You have received a gift of money, the money is enough to buy either a piece of jawelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Essay topics:

You have received a gift of money, the money is enough to buy either a piece of jawelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

There are many people would confuse when they receive a gift of money that is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry or ticket to a concert. All of that have more advantages for the people. In this case, i prefer to choose buying a piece of jewel than a ticket concert. In this essay, i will explain some reason about that i choose.

First, the jewel that i get from the money would become my accessories, it makes me more handsome than before and of course i can be more confident than before directly. In the other situation, the accessories would be increase my social stats. For example, i will be easy to get a relationship with a girl when it was very difficult before.

Moreover, in family, i can use the jewel become a gift for my parent when i miss them and also it become a birthday gift for when my brother birthday, a wedding gift when my sister married, and a congratulation gift when my brother graduation.

And than, i can use the jewel to my investment and also i will sell it by high price when the gold price advance, it will help me in the future because i can give it to my child.

In conclusion, it have many advantages if you choose a piece of jewelry. I think in this modern era jewel more important than ticket because when you investment, you can get mach money and than you also can buy ticket concert. So that why i choose a piece of jewelry.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

There are many people would confuse
There are many people who would confuse

the accessories would be increase my social stats.
the accessories would increase my social stats.

i can use the jewel become a gift for my parent
i can use the jewel to become a gift for my parent

it become a birthday gift
it becomes a birthday gift

when my brother graduation.
during my brother's graduation.

when the gold price advance
when the gold price is in advance

it have many advantages
it has many advantages

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 15 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 261 350
No. of Characters: 1080 1500
No. of Different Words: 115 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.019 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.138 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.328 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 65 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 37 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 20 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.67 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.414 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5