TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rembrandt

The lecturer casts doubt on various points made in the article and provides three reasons to support her opinion.

First of all, according to the article the painting could not be of Rembrandt because of several mistakes. For example, in the painting of elderly lady, she has white linen cap on her dress, which was worn by servants at that time .Additionally, she has a fur collar which was highly expensive. This two things mismatches. Rembrandt can't make such mistakes. On the other hand, the lecturer mentions that thorough examination of painting suggests that the fur collar was added several years later to the original painting, in order to increase the price of the painting so that it looked like a painting of a wealthier lady. Thus, it's belong to Rembrandt.

Furthermore, the passage states that Rembrandt was an eminent painter and he knew the art of light and shadow in his painting. But in his painting of elderly lady the light and shadow technique is not applied properly. The lecturer however, states that the collar was added to the painting later, if we remove the collar and look at the picture, it perfectly shows demonstrate use of proper technique of light and shadow. Therefore , without any doubt it is Rembrandt's painting.

Finally, the writer argues that the painting is made on several wooden panels glued together which is unlike Rembrandt's other paintings. The speaker on the other hand, mentions that the wooden panels were glued to the painting several years later by someone else to make it large and expensive. The wooden panel tests shows that the the wood on which painting is done is from the same tree from which wood have been taken for Rembrandt's other paintings.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 180, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...elderly lady, she has white linen cap on her dress, which was worn by servants at...
^^
Line 3, column 232, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... which was worn by servants at that time .Additionally, she has a fur collar which...
^^
Line 3, column 234, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Additionally
...hich was worn by servants at that time .Additionally, she has a fur collar which was highly ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 335, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
.... This two things mismatches. Rembrandt cant make such mistakes. On the other hand, ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 13, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...its belong to Rembrandt. Furthermore, the passage states that Rembrandt was an...
^^
Line 5, column 433, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...technique of light and shadow. Therefore , without any doubt it is Rembrandts pain...
^^
Line 7, column 13, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is Rembrandts painting. Finally, the writer argues that the painting is made ...
^^
Line 7, column 331, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...sive. The wooden panel tests shows that the the wood on which painting is done is from ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 331, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...sive. The wooden panel tests shows that the the wood on which painting is done is from ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, so, therefore, thus, for example, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 10.4613686534 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 5.04856512141 20% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 22.412803532 103% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 30.3222958057 129% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1423.0 1373.03311258 104% => OK
No of words: 290.0 270.72406181 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90689655172 5.08290768461 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49766012771 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 145.348785872 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503448275862 0.540411800872 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 422.1 419.366225166 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 3.25607064018 154% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.0558369192 49.2860985944 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.642857143 110.228320801 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7142857143 21.698381199 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.42857142857 7.06452816374 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 4.19205298013 215% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0833237562495 0.272083759551 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0424788949769 0.0996497079465 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0468918759547 0.0662205650399 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.045367626239 0.162205337803 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0285788484599 0.0443174109184 64% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 13.3589403974 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 53.8541721854 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.0289183223 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.2367328918 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.42419426049 90% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 63.6247240618 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.