TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO2

In theses set of material, both the reading and the professor are talking about the effects of having a team of people attack a project. The reading claims that, the best way to approach certain new projects is to assemble a group of people into a team. Conversely the professor doesn't see any benefits from this approach. And he says that, after 6 months working like a team in a company, there is no recognition for names who worked well in the group. In addition, The job will be named for the whole group , and no recognition to the hard worker employee.

First of all, the reading states that, a group of people has a wide range of knowledge , expertise and skills than any single individual is likely to possess. Also , because of the number of people involved a group can work more quickly. However the professor says that,this is not right , and it may take so long time and many times to reach to a decision in group. Because there is a lot of members and each one has a different idea, so it may take a long time to make a decision.

Second, the reading says that, some risky decision might not undertake , because the group spreads responsibility for a decision to all the members and thus no single decision can be held if the decision turns out to be wrong. But the professor says that, if there are objections from one or two individual in the group , the idea will be dropped.

last, the reading argues that, taking part in a group process can be very rewarding for members of the team. However the professor says that, if some member warned the group that the decision would go in a wrong direction, he may ignore by others. Also, when the project failed , the whole group members were blamed. No exception for the members who warned the group, or for those who worked hardly. The whole group will be responsible for the failure of the project.

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Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

are talking about the effects of having a team of people attack a project.
Description: two verbs (are and attack) in one sentence. can you re-write this sentence?

because of the number of people involved a group can work more quickly.
because of the number of people who involved a group can work more quickly.

and it may take so long time
and it may take a long time

if some member warned
if some members warned

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

No. of Words: 340 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 12
No. of Words: 340 250
No. of Characters: 1472 1200
No. of Different Words: 155 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.294 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.329 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.3 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.259 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4