TPO-13 - Integrated Writing Task Private collectors have been selling and buying fossils, the petrified remains of ancient organisms, ever since the eighteenth century. In recent years, however, the sale of fossils, particularly of dinosaurs and other lar

The passage states that private collectors who buy fossils can cause harmful effect on the science as well as general public and it provides three reason for it. However the professor beleive it is about negative aspects and the advantages of selling and buying fossiles soothe its disadvantages.

First, the passage remarks that by this method people will be avoided to look at the fossiles because of the private collectors. The professor disagree with this opinion and beleive this method will increase the number of people who afford by fossils so that they are able to explain their investigations to the public. In addition the approach of passage is realistic according to scientific issues.

Second, passage states that scientists with this method haven't any access to the important fossil evidence.
The professor refutes this opinion and beleive scientists with this method are more probable to buy the evidences. Even though private collector buy more fossils, they need professional scientists to verify the corresponding pieces. Also it's rare that a scientist miss important fossile evidences.

Third, the passage states comercial fossil collector will distroy the discovered fossil evidences. But the professor beleive there are alot of fossil evidences that are not discovered yet. This method will increase the number of discoveries in this domain so that this method can solve many doubts in the scientific domain .

In conclusion, despite many draw backs that the passage provides for corresponding solution, according to the professor reasons selling the advantages of selling fossils to collectors are more than its disadvantages.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...armful effect on the science as well as general public and it provides three reason for it. Ho...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 163, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ic and it provides three reason for it. However the professor beleive it is about negat...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 324, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
... their investigations to the public. In addition the approach of passage is realistic ac...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 57, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...states that scientists with this method havent any access to the important fossil evid...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 22, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fossil evidence. The professor refutes this opinion and beleive scientists with...
^^
Line 6, column 235, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...sts to verify the corresponding pieces. Also its rare that a scientist miss importan...
^^^^
Line 8, column 286, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his domain so that this method can solve many doubts in the scientific domain . ...
^^
Line 8, column 324, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ve many doubts in the scientific domain . In conclusion, despite many draw bac...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'second', 'so', 'third', 'well', 'in addition', 'in conclusion', 'as well as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.305454545455 0.261695866417 117% => OK
Verbs: 0.127272727273 0.158904122519 80% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0872727272727 0.0723426182421 121% => OK
Adverbs: 0.04 0.0435111971325 92% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0327272727273 0.0277247811725 118% => OK
Prepositions: 0.12 0.128828473217 93% => OK
Participles: 0.0254545454545 0.0370669169778 69% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.76998531854 2.5805825403 107% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0327272727273 0.0208969081088 157% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00154638098197 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.123636363636 0.128158765124 96% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0218181818182 0.0158828679856 137% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0109090909091 0.0114777025283 95% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1661.0 1645.83664459 101% => OK
No of words: 257.0 271.125827815 95% => OK
Chars per words: 6.46303501946 6.08160592843 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00390054096 4.04852973271 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.47859922179 0.374372842146 128% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.354085603113 0.287516216867 123% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.20233463035 0.187439937562 108% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.155642023346 0.113142543107 138% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76998531854 2.5805825403 107% => OK
Unique words: 126.0 145.348785872 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490272373541 0.539623497131 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 45.9180193086 53.8517498576 85% => OK
How many sentences: 13.0 13.0529801325 100% => OK
Sentence length: 19.7692307692 21.7502111507 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3840434619 49.3711431718 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.769230769 132.220823453 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7692307692 21.7502111507 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.0 0.878197800319 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.09492273731 147% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 3.39072847682 236% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 55.1777910805 50.5018328374 109% => OK
Elegance: 2.25454545455 1.90840788429 118% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.608631189046 0.549887131256 111% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.152166096828 0.142949733639 106% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0975633061759 0.0787303798458 124% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.681165650893 0.631733273073 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.184195090168 0.139662658121 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.274423016124 0.266732575781 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0997810634395 0.103435571967 96% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.283728386881 0.414875509568 68% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0185215090335 0.0530846634433 35% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.37810525055 0.40443939384 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0881206855591 0.0528353158467 167% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.26048565121 141% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 3.49668874172 143% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 3.62251655629 55% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 3.1766004415 157% => OK
Total topic words: 12.0 10.2958057395 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Not in a correct format.

The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%) but more content wanted from the lecture (75%).

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster

Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.