TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task
In the given set of material, the authors state that using electronic databases to store patient's medical information is more efficient than submit them in paper forms. They try to persuade doctors to use such systems because they believe that electronic medical record systems reduce costs, prevents error which made by bad handwriting, mistakes in data input and help to researcher to conduct researches. In contrast, the lecturer cast doubts on those points by providing evidences and justifications.
First, the author of reading believes that using electronic databases to record patient's medical information can reduce costs because doctors will not use papers, which needs a lot of budget, anymore. Also, they believe that doctors can easily access to these information whenever and wherever they want, so, they do not need to copy and duplicate them. Conversely, the lecturer believed that doctors will keep a copy of the information in paper forms due to legal issues.
Second, the reading support the idea of patient's electronic submission by supposing that this system can prevent and reduce probable errors such as illegible handwriting, making mistakes during inputting data and using nonstandard data recording forms. As the reading says, these error cannot be exist in electronic systems because they use standardized forms. In contrast, the professor argued with these logics. She believe that doctors cannot eliminate paper forms and still use of them and office staffs will submit paper form in electronic systems.
Third, as the author of reading says, recording patient's information in electronic databases and system will provide a large source of information to researches which was impractical and hard to conduct because researchers did not access to patient's information in doctors' offices. Although this may be true, the lecturer was doubt about it. She believed that researchers will have some restrictions about accessing to patient's medical information due to privacy issues. Even, as she told, patients can block their information from the others. So, like paper forms, researchers need to follow the rules and take the grant to access such big resources of information.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 255, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...lieve that doctors can easily access to these information whenever and wherever they want, so, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 275, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this error' or 'these errors'?
Suggestion: this error; these errors
...a recording forms. As the reading says, these error cannot be exist in electronic systems b...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 419, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'She' must be used with a third-person verb: 'believes'.
Suggestion: believes
...professor argued with these logics. She believe that doctors cannot eliminate paper for...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, conversely, first, if, may, second, so, still, third, in contrast, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 10.4613686534 48% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 5.04856512141 277% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 7.30242825607 151% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 12.0772626932 91% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 22.412803532 125% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 30.3222958057 148% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 5.01324503311 199% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1869.0 1373.03311258 136% => OK
No of words: 343.0 270.72406181 127% => OK
Chars per words: 5.44897959184 5.08290768461 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.04702891845 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72920558015 2.5805825403 106% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 145.348785872 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483965014577 0.540411800872 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 570.6 419.366225166 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.25165562914 320% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 13.0662251656 115% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 21.2450331126 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.7297243133 49.2860985944 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.6 110.228320801 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8666666667 21.698381199 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 7.06452816374 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.45246112556 0.272083759551 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.149565929806 0.0996497079465 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105028020806 0.0662205650399 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.306046292257 0.162205337803 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0344220221091 0.0443174109184 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 13.3589403974 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 53.8541721854 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.0289183223 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.63 12.2367328918 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.42419426049 97% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 63.6247240618 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.7273730684 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.498013245 103% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.2008830022 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.