TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The reading passage and the lecture discussing about the electronic medical record systems in contrast way.

Firstly, reading passage says that using the electronic medical record system will reduce the cost as well as minimise the occupying of space in the storage area. But the speaker refutes this point by stating that even though it is able store date in very small tiny hard disc, still for the medical legal purpose paper record of medical treatment is need, so it cost huge expensive than paper work.

Secondly, reading passage states that human error like illegible hand writing, transcription data error and fond size can be reduced by using the computer. But the lecturer contrast this statements by saying that all the doctors are using the pen while examining the patient and when using prescriptions, actually this doctor's hand written documents only staff using for enter into the data entry so this manual error unpreventable.

Thirdly, reading passage suggests that electronic data base will be more helpful for the researcher because it use to access the data from online and need not go through all patient history from paper work, so it less time consuming process unlike paper record but the professor claims that even it is easy get data from computer record still patient has rights of privacy police and more in order to access one patient we need to get permission from so many people like hospital and legal authority and if patient denial access we can't the patient data.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 123, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... reduce the cost as well as minimise the occupying of space in the storage area. ...
^^
Line 7, column 112, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'uses'?
Suggestion: uses
...e helpful for the researcher because it use to access the data from online and need...
^^^
Line 7, column 112, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...e helpful for the researcher because it use to access the data from online and need...
^^^
Line 7, column 533, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...thority and if patient denial access we cant the patient data.
^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...enial access we cant the patient data.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'still', 'third', 'thirdly', 'well', 'while', 'in contrast', 'as well as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.316981132075 0.261695866417 121% => OK
Verbs: 0.132075471698 0.158904122519 83% => OK
Adjectives: 0.101886792453 0.0723426182421 141% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0603773584906 0.0435111971325 139% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0264150943396 0.0277247811725 95% => OK
Prepositions: 0.143396226415 0.128828473217 111% => OK
Participles: 0.0641509433962 0.0370669169778 173% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.32738896982 2.5805825403 90% => OK
Infinitives: 0.011320754717 0.0208969081088 54% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00154638098197 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0905660377358 0.128158765124 71% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0150943396226 0.0158828679856 95% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00377358490566 0.0114777025283 33% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1520.0 1645.83664459 92% => OK
No of words: 251.0 271.125827815 93% => OK
Chars per words: 6.05577689243 6.08160592843 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.98032404683 4.04852973271 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.350597609562 0.374372842146 94% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.266932270916 0.287516216867 93% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.127490039841 0.187439937562 68% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0836653386454 0.113142543107 74% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32738896982 2.5805825403 90% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 145.348785872 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569721115538 0.539623497131 106% => OK
Word variations: 56.984312719 53.8517498576 106% => OK
How many sentences: 6.0 13.0529801325 46% => More sentences wanted.
Sentence length: 41.8333333333 21.7502111507 192% => Sentence lengths are too long.
Sentence length SD: 152.572387192 49.3711431718 309% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 253.333333333 132.220823453 192% => Less chars per sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 41.8333333333 21.7502111507 192% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 2.5 0.878197800319 285% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.39072847682 147% => OK
Readability: 68.526560425 50.5018328374 136% => OK
Elegance: 2.39655172414 1.90840788429 126% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.428707717513 0.549887131256 78% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.181459670701 0.142949733639 127% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0874315904447 0.0787303798458 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.824314300301 0.631733273073 130% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.146264477285 0.139662658121 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.248830552811 0.266732575781 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0665988823031 0.103435571967 64% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.296064284007 0.414875509568 71% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0605273121941 0.0530846634433 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.295769310243 0.40443939384 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0552884968327 0.0528353158467 105% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 4.45695364238 0% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.26048565121 23% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 5.0 3.49668874172 143% => OK
Negative topic words: 0.0 3.62251655629 0% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 1.0 3.1766004415 31% => OK
Total topic words: 6.0 10.2958057395 58% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.