TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The reading passage and the lecture are both about adopting electronic medical record systems. The passage outlines the benefits associated with the introduction of this type of medical system. On the other hand, the lecture casts doubt on these benefits by providing several arguments.

First, the passage claims that the introduction of electronic medical records will reduce costs on storing data and transfer of records. The lecturer contradicts this idea by pointing out that doctors will still keep the paper records due to the fact that they may be used for legal purposes. Therefore, the storage costs won't be diminished.

Second, the passage states that errors will be prevented with digital medical record systems. This is because there will be standard and legible computer fonts that will prevent human mistakes. However, the lecturer disagrees by saying that the doctors will still write on paper records when examining the patients. It will be the staff who will enter the data in the digital system so errors could still occur.

Third, the passage affirms that there will be the possibility to garner larger amounts of data of patients. Perhaps, the lecturer disclaims it by saying that the patients personal records are subject to strict privacy laws in the United States. In addition, in some cases patients deny permissions of accessing their medical data.

In conclusion, the passage provides benefits of introducing the electronic medial records system. However, the lecture casts doubt on these statements.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 51, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g passage and the lecture are both about adopting electronic medical record syste...
^^
Line 5, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s will be prevented with digital medical record systems. This is because there wi...
^^
Line 5, column 134, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... This is because there will be standard and legible computer fonts that will pre...
^^
Line 5, column 407, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the digital system so errors could still occur. Third, the passage affirms th...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, may, second, so, still, therefore, third, in addition, in conclusion, in some cases, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 5.04856512141 218% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 3.0 7.30242825607 41% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 22.412803532 76% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 30.3222958057 96% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1298.0 1373.03311258 95% => OK
No of words: 242.0 270.72406181 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36363636364 5.08290768461 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.94415379849 4.04702891845 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51160818422 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Unique words: 126.0 145.348785872 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.520661157025 0.540411800872 96% => OK
syllable_count: 391.5 419.366225166 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.23620309051 146% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 13.0662251656 115% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.5532615533 49.2860985944 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 86.5333333333 110.228320801 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1333333333 21.698381199 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86666666667 7.06452816374 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.27373068433 94% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.374054579684 0.272083759551 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.137277794059 0.0996497079465 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102005160471 0.0662205650399 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220929140975 0.162205337803 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0583692571411 0.0443174109184 132% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 13.3589403974 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 53.8541721854 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.0289183223 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.51 12.2367328918 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.42419426049 104% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 63.6247240618 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.7273730684 79% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.