Some people think that in the modern world we have become more dependent on each other, while others think that people are now more independent.

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Some people think that in the modern world we have become more dependent on each other, while others think that people are now more independent.

It is a commonly held belief that people all around the globe are always on interaction,particularly in the work life. According to a group of people’s opinion, people are more likely to be dependent upon one another.However,on the other hand, from claim that people tend to do everything on their own,namely they are a lot more in dependent, whereas they frequently contacts with others in their daily lives. Lets compare both ideas giving examples and give a conclusion.

In the ancient ages people lived in colonies,therefore they connected all members of the colony in all aspects,such as hunting,cooking and etc. That is why opponents of the idea suppose that why the features of people’s lifestyles are like this in the modern world can be based on the past experiments. Surely sometimes depending on others is not disparaging,on the contrary,it can enable you to gain some advantageous things. Habitually,people choose to work with others together ,in a group. First and foremost, because while people are working in a group,they can facilitate the extremely tough work,cope with all the hardships much more easily. There is thought to be strong camaraderie within the group and it can increase the quality of work. Furthermore, given that individuals manage to finish it up very late,time be shorten in group work as well.

On the other hand,critics of the perspective contradict it. As far as they are concerned,today’s people prefer to work individually rather than working with others. It may be due to the fact that they don’t want to depend on others and people’s interruptions to their work. Another point is that in contemporary companies employees have desires to be on top,sometimes a fierce competition among them,also it can be like “rat race”. Thereby they are likely to be seen as if they avoid to work with other people,even in pairs. What’s more,the frightened thing for them may be that the group-mates of theirs can take advantage of their own ideas. But it also has some negative sides. For instance,these thoughts cause some unpleasant caracteristic features ,such as egoism which is one of the disasters of our world.

In conclusion,both types of people exist in modern world. While a group of people who prefer to work with others believe that camaraderie strengthens the connections among the members and they work effectively, the latter claims that individuality and own decisions are always the main things. Personally, working within the group can be beneficial to get higher achievements than individually.

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from claim that people tend to do everything on their own,namely they are a lot more in dependent, whereas they frequently contacts with others in their daily lives.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

people’s lifestyles are like this in the modern world can be based on the past experiments
people’s lifestyles are like this in the modern world which can be based on the past experiments

Sentence: For instance,these thoughts cause some unpleasant caracteristic features ,such as egoism which is one of the disasters of our world.
Error: egoism Suggestion: egos
Error: caracteristic Suggestion: characteristic

flaws:
Don't put a space before punctuation marks. Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.

Need to polish sentences.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2073 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.766 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.66 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.324 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5