Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Personally, I agree with the assertion that games are important for adults as they are for children.Games are very important for all age group of people to fit physically and to sharp mentally, to dense friendship among the group and to build social relationship.
To begin with, I think that games are important thing to maintain physical fitness and to sharpen their mind. Nowadays,people are becoming obese and dull due to lack of enough exercise.When people become obese,they slowly increase their blood glucose level on the one hand and blood vessels of their bodies become narrowed on the other hand. Consequently, these health condition may lead them to high blood pressure and even heart attack.
In addition to physically fit and mentally sharp, I believe that game sharpen the relationship among friends.When people play with their friend, they learn the concept of win and lose and learn to trust each other member in their group.From these trust among group , group member converted to their friends and even as a best friend and thus automatically sharpen their friendship among each other.
Finally, along with physically fit and mentally sharp and sharpen the relationship of friends, I feel that game help to build social relationship.I find that because of game people of different villages and even different district can get the opportunity to meet each other by means of game and strengthen their relationship.Thus, people get the opportunity to know their habit and culture through these games and star to respect each other.
To sum up, game help to make physically fit and mentally sharp, strengthen relationship among friends and help to build social relationship in the community. Considering these ideas I would have to say that game is equally important for adults as children do.
Sentence: In addition to physically fit and mentally sharp, I believe that game sharpen the relationship among friends.When people play with their friend, they learn the concept of win and lose and learn to trust each other member in their group.From these trust among group , group member converted to their friends and even as a best friend and thus automatically sharpen their friendship among each other.
Description: The fragment game sharpen the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace sharpen with verb, past tense
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an adjective, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to a and best
Sentence: Finally, along with physically fit and mentally sharp and sharpen the relationship of friends, I feel that game help to build social relationship.I find that because of game people of different villages and even different district can get the opportunity to meet each other by means of game and strengthen their relationship.Thus, people get the opportunity to know their habit and culture through these games and star to respect each other.
Description: The fragment game help to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace help with verb, past tense
Sentence: To sum up, game help to make physically fit and mentally sharp, strengthen relationship among friends and help to build social relationship in the community.
Description: The fragment game help to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace help with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2 (same issue)
No. of Different Words: 134 200 (Need to remove repetitive words or sentences. Don't need to list reasons in the introduction paragraph)
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 17 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 302 350
No. of Characters: 1481 1500
No. of Different Words: 134 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.169 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.904 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.147 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.436 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.768 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.161 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5