You are hereIf you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.


annisak's picture

By annisak - Posted on 01 April 2013

Essay topic: 

If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

Psychologists tell that study is divided into two-part, academic and non-academic. For academic, they can study a lot from school or college. Study in their circumstances is classifeid as non-academic learning. It occurs when you talk among friends and neighbors. However, I prefer to study academic with professor and discuss about subject that I do not know clearly. If I had change to study about subject that I never studied before, I would like to learn about make innovation of existing product. Product Innovation is subject who focus about develop existing goods becomes more value-added.

I often think that every single subject who learn in college should benefit to our world. If I study about product innovation, I will make it real. For example, almost student use book to note while lecture speaks. In contrast, I see the world has problem with global warming. I ever read article that one cause of global warming is paper. Then, I think about product which is can replace paper. The answer is make an Electronic-notes. It is integrated between notepad and netbook. So, when I take note, I use it and no more paper. Another product related to this problem is Electronic-books. It means there is no reference book or another types anymore. Elcetronic books is using computer. All of material is available and just download with internet connection. So, printer and photocopy machine is no longer.

Another product is housewares equipment. I want to build an integrated housewares product. It is combine between sweep and vacum-cleaner. It will be named vast-cleaner which has benefit to make your floor and wall more clean than you think. It will helps housekeeper work because reduce time of work. Other advantages is cheaper than vacum-cleaner. Do not worry about security, it is safe but not for children's play.

In conclusion, I prefer to choose learn innovation of product because it will relieve someone's job. Efficiency time and reduce paper is more important.

Average: 8 (2 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: For example, almost student use book to note while lecture speaks.
Description: The fragment , almost student is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace student with all students

Sentence: The answer is make an Electronic-notes.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and make

Sentence: It means there is no reference book or another types anymore.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and types

Sentence: Another product is housewares equipment.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and housewares

Sentence: It will helps housekeeper work because reduce time of work.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to will and helps

Sentence: Study in their circumstances is classifeid as non-academic learning.
Error: classifeid Suggestion: classified

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.248 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1611 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.942 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.791 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.248 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.399 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5