If you make one important change in a school that you attend what change would you make

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If you make one important change in a school that you attend,what change would you make?

Almost all of us spend our lifes in the schools. Starting from primary school, ı always have been dreamed about my university campus and life. But there is an important deficent in my school that it is lack of high quality library and the technological stuffs especially computer harnesses.

We are living in the technology age today. Everything is under people’s hand and provide broad database including every piece of information on every subject. Universities’ first duty is that providing this information to their students. The more they give, the more students become competitive and qualified in their future especially in business sector. As a case in point, my university doesn’t have this kind of opportunity. If ı change something in my school,ı definitely construct a new one in the campus.

Another thing is that generally all of the students study in the library. Some of them can’t afford to buy a computer or even don’t see in their lifes. At first ı will buy more computers or laptops, and ı will make them work all day long even at nights. Because our library is closed at 11 p.m. every day.

The last thing is engendering the new rooms for conversing that the students can talk to eachother and they don’t have to hesitate to make noise. In our library, it is absolutely forbidden talking any time. However, many students resident in the dorms so they don’t have a chance like inviting the others or going out late from their dorms. There are strict rules in every dorm that nobody can call someone or go out after 10 o’clock at night.

To sum up,taking these factors into consideration,as you see,it is not hard to reach the conclusion about my essential library change in both the construction and the rules.Sure that after doing all these innovations,my university’s students get their place in higher steps.

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Average: 9.1 (11 votes)
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Sentence: But there is an important deficent in my school that it is lack of high quality library and the technological stuffs especially computer harnesses.
Error: deficent Suggestion: deficient

Sentence: The last thing is engendering the new rooms for conversing that the students can talk to eachother and they don't have to hesitate to make noise.
Error: eachother Suggestion: each other

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1480 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.568 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.61 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.888 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5