I believe that knowing how to play a musical instrument is absolutely important both for physical and mental integrity and performance.
Music is a composition of rhythmic elements which represents a universal language. comprehending and performing a musical piece need concentration and highly specialized activities of different parts of brain, both motor and sensory. While the frontal lobe is trying to understand the notes and their relationships, many muscles are collaborating to play the instrument, ears are gathering auditory impulses, and again the frontal lobe evaluate the final product. Being involved in such complicated process for brain is very similar to physical exercise for masculo-skeletal system. It gradually enhances the mental capacity. Moreover, Balance, precision, quick movements, and flexibility are some fundamental requirements for playing music nicely.
People relax by listening to music, enjoying it in their celebrations and happy events, or using it to express their grief and sorrow. Our lives are full of music. It facilitate the expression of our most inner feelings and refresh our minds.
looking through the human history, development of music is not confined to one or two geographical territory. In fact, even the most primitive societies had an endemic or traditional music of their own. Primarily imitating the sounds of nature, nowadays, we perform the most spectacular and complex musical pieces which raise us up to sky. This is not merely a popular hobby nor a lofty artistic virtue, but playing music is the universal language of all humans around the world. You may not be able to speak Germany or may not understand Mandarin but with a simple melody you may touch the most intimate part of other people's souls.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that music should be an unseparable part of our life and every body should try to learn at least playing one musical instrument.
Thanks! I'll try to keep
Thanks!
I'll try to keep these in my mind :)
Sentence: While the frontal lobe is trying to understand the notes and their relationships, many muscles are collaborating to play the instrument, ears are gathering auditory impulses, and again the frontal lobe evaluate the final product.
Description: The fragment lobe evaluate the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace evaluate with verb, past tense
Sentence: It facilitate the expression of our most inner feelings and refresh our minds.
Description: The fragment It facilitate the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace facilitate with verb, past tense
Sentence: In conclusion, I strongly believe that music should be an unseparable part of our life and every body should try to learn at least playing one musical instrument.
Error: unseparable Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
You were talking about 'music' instead of 'playing an instrument' in the third and fourth paragraphs.
We realized you always think 'deep' or 'philosophy' in all your essays(You have the same issues in your speakings too). In fact, for essays like 'agree/disagree' or any other essay types like choice type: choose A or B , you only need to list 2-3 advantages to support why you agree/disagree or why you choose A/B.
The simple rule is 'straight forward'.
Well, there are thousands of reasons people agree or disagree, you only need 2-3 of them. for example, for this essay, you choose agree, then the essay pattern should be like this:
para 1: introduction. i agree that it is important to play a musical instrument.
para 2: advantage 1 to play a musical instrument. like it can show off in front of other people, blabla...
para 3: advantage 2 to play a musical instrument. like it is romantic, blabla...
para 4: advantage 3 to play a musical instrument. like it can pass time, blabla...
para 5: conclusion, because of advantages 1,2,and 3, so i agree the topic.
You do the same thing for speakings and other essay types like choose A or B.
Let us know if you did not get the point.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1588 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.19 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.918 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.468 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5