You are hereA person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like an dislike about living in your town or city.? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like an dislike about living in your town or city.? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.


ozge cvt's picture

By ozge cvt - Posted on 15 November 2012

Essay topic: 

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like an dislike about living in your town or city.? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

In the thesis statement, the author discusses the pros and cons about my city according to one of person ı know, who is planning to move there. Every person has distinct notions, point of views and lifestyle that all these are the crucial factors about choosing the place for settling somewhere. To me, what makes my city a best place are the nature ,people and the weather, but how make it best? I shall explain details in the following paragraphs.

I live in a small town by the sea which is between the huge mountains. It has a considerably prominent sea that attracts many tourists every year swimming in the summer, even winter. Except this, there are lots of camping areas to stop and enjoy the beauty of the natural life including forest, sea, animals and amazing landscapes. As a case in point, ı met one German family in one of the camping site last summer. More interestingly, they told me that they had been living there both summer and winter. They had a big caravan maket hem live in all seasons and enjoy the nature.

Another thing, also the most important factor for me, is the people living my city. My town is small and almost everyone knows eachother that makes the relationships closer. Everybody is ready to help whenever someone needs it. We can let the door unlock and go outside without any hesitation because all we trust and rely on eachother. In today’s world, in which place people can do it? Security provides by the dwellers of the city so my friend doesn’t need to take any precautions about it.

As ı mention before,my town locates by the sea. As a result of that, it has a mild climate and it has no cold winters. Saving money is easier than the big cities on account of warming up issues. We also don’t have traffic problem like stucking roads because of snow or flood problem which destroys the flow of the life.

All in all, my friend can get used to living my town in a short time and never want to leave it. From every aspects, it includes so many reasons to move here.

Average: 9 (4 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: They had a big caravan maket hem live in all seasons and enjoy the nature.
Error: maket Suggestion: ?

Sentence: My town is small and almost everyone knows eachother that makes the relationships closer.
Error: eachother Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.323 7.5
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.265 0.35

You may change the writing style for the first paragraph. You can be more straight forward to make your statement. You don't need to mention something like 'In the thesis statement, the author discusses the pros and cons about my city according to one of person ı know, who is planning to move there.'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 370 350
No. of Characters: 1593 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.386 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.305 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.257 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.323 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.265 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5