Reading passage and Lecture about UA voting system . Write an essay how the professor oppose the computerized system
The whole topic is about the voting system is used in the United states. United States uses the traditional voting system for election .However some critic opposes to traditional voting system because of inefficient and inaccurate counting vote. They believe that computerized system is more accurate and efficient for election than traditional one.
According to the critic tradition system contain ballet paper, which contain lots of names of candidate. This system creates confusion for some people and they choose wrong choice or that vote may be invalid because of wrong voting. To avoid this things we can use computer which have touch screen and simple graphical user interface which is easily understandable by voter. All this facts oppose by the lady professor, because she believe that computerized system is only suitable for those people who have the knowledge of the computer. She concern about people who unaware of the computer, who can't afford the computer. For those people it is very difficult to understand the new computer system. It cause the effect on voting. Possibly wrong voting is done. So she really worry about this thing.
Secondly the critic said that computer system is good for counting. This processor provide the accurate result of voting than the traditional way. Wrong counting counts may possible by using traditional way which will be waste of time as well as money. Again we have count whole vote again .However The lady professor still disagree this thing .She accepts that human error can happen but that error can be resolve or wrong counting are of 3 or 2 votes. However if we used the computer system which is also man made system it may happen that system will do wrong counting in thousands or may possible that whole data will remove from the system. Then, what will we do? She clarify her view by giving some more examples that we uses the computer in banking system. In banking we use the computer on daily basis and so all things are improve from daily experience. which we can't do with election because it comes one times within 2 years. And we can take risk.
Eventually ,lady oppose to the computer base voting by providing all supporting reasons.
Sentence: According to the critic tradition system contain ballet paper, which contain lots of names of candidate.
Description: The fragment system contain ballet is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace contain with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: To avoid this things we can use computer which have touch screen and simple graphical user interface which is easily understandable by voter.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and things
Sentence: All this facts oppose by the lady professor, because she believe that computerized system is only suitable for those people who have the knowledge of the computer.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and facts
Description: The fragment she believe that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace believe with verb, past tense
Sentence: She concern about people who unaware of the computer, who can't afford the computer.
Description: The fragment She concern about is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace concern with verb, past tense
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to who and unaware
Sentence: It cause the effect on voting.
Description: The fragment It cause the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cause with verb, past tense
Sentence: This processor provide the accurate result of voting than the traditional way.
Description: The fragment processor provide the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, past tense
Sentence: Wrong counting counts may possible by using traditional way which will be waste of time as well as money.
Description: The fragment Wrong counting is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Wrong with adverb
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to may and possible
Sentence: Again we have count whole vote again .However The lady professor still disagree this thing .She accepts that human error can happen but that error can be resolve or wrong counting are of 3 or 2 votes.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to count and whole
Sentence: However if we used the computer system which is also man made system it may happen that system will do wrong counting in thousands or may possible that whole data will remove from the system.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to may and possible
Sentence: She clarify her view by giving some more examples that we uses the computer in banking system.
Description: The fragment She clarify her is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace clarify with verb, past tense
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to we and uses
Sentence: Eventually ,lady oppose to the computer base voting by providing all supporting reasons.
Description: The fragment lady oppose to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace oppose with verb, past participle
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
No. of Words: 372 2250 (you only have 20 minutes)
Read a good grammar book.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need a conclusion.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 15 in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 12
No. of Words: 372 2250
No. of Characters: 1799 1200
No. of Different Words: 179 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.836 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.343 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.371 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.194 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4