Hard work is the key to success. Luck has nothing to do with it. Many famous persons today like Rattan Tata; Birla’s; Ambani’s and Steve Jobs etc are successful because of their hard work. Hard always pays. So, I agree with the quotation “When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.”
Furthermore, the person should have motto and with hard work only he/she can achieve that motto. Luck has nothing to do with the success. The successful person like steve jobs; he was a founder and CEO of apple computers. He did lot of struggle in his life. It is because of his hard work that he got the success. I remember when I was in school; I was very bad at math I had to work really hard to pass that exam.
However, people usually say that it is in our destiny, that whether we will be able to clear that exam or not. But, I think this is not our destiny that will decide our fate. We will get marks for what we have written. Our future is in our own hands not in the hands of destiny. For instance, people who reached on Himalayas because of dedication and hard work and they reached there with lot of difficulties on their way and not because of their luck.
Besides this, in every profession a person has to work hard in order to achieve success (promotion). If we leave everything on destiny then we will never achieve in our life. With hard work and dedication anybody can reach anywhere. For instance, in office those who work hard and do their work with dedication will definitely get success. They know their job well and solve any problem, which comes in their way.
In conclusion, I would say with hard work and dedication we can make impossible things possible. If you have determination to do that thing than nothing is impossible.
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 158 200
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 77 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
The contents are not well organized. Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1 , 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
We realized that you didn't put examples properly sometimes. So you may put more arguments in the essays but don't need to put examples.
You still need to improve your vocabulary words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 329 350
No. of Characters: 1404 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.259 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.267 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.226 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 77 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.708 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.038 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5