TOEFL integrated writing: fuel-cell engines

The reading article claims that hydrogen based fuel cell engine have several advantage over the internal combustion engine and will probably soon replace them. however, professor refutes this point, he said that fuel cell engine emits less pollution is right but the reading is too much optimistic about it advantages.

First, the reading states that hydrogen need for fuel cell engine could be derived from the water and its easily available. However, speaker refutes this point, he said that the natural hydrogen is very unstable and it needs to be stored at liquid state at around minus 253 degree Celsius and for that advanced technology required.

Second, the reading averages that fuel cell could solve the world pollution problem. However, speaker refutes this point, he said that in order to obtained the hydrogen from the water and oil we need refineries and it would burn lots of fuel and coal and oil and it would produce large pollution.

Third, Reading states that fuel cell engine would soon be economically competitive. However, speaker refutes this point he said that ,for the chemical reaction of the hydrogen, the platinum metal would be required and its readily available and praised high. also, without platinum the chemical reaction to burn hydrogen would not take place and other metal so far tested would be unsuccessful.

In conclusion, speaker refutes all the three point made by the reading about advantage of the fuel cell engine over the internal combustion engine.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: However, speaker refutes this point, he said that in order to obtained the hydrogen from the water and oil we need refineries and it would burn lots of fuel and coal and oil and it would produce large pollution.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and obtained

flaws:
Need to remove a lot of repetitive words. like 'refute'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 9
No. of Words: 244 250
No. of Characters: 1222 1200
No. of Different Words: 118 120
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.952 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.008 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.262 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.292 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.517 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.775 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.18 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4