tpo10task2

Essay topics:

tpo10
task2

Some people believe that children should be allowed to play computer games. In my opinion, however, the opposite is true. There is numerous reasons why I believe this, but i explore just few of important ones here.

First, from my experience with my sister, I understand that families encourage their children to play these kind of game in order to they get rid of them. Family member do not have time or can not stand the children moving, running, so they want to divert the child attention to another thing in order to relieved from child activity. When the child plays with computer, just focus on the game, so parent can do their work without any concern about child. The child is not sensitive about his/her environment, he miss his curious. The child creativity and IQ decline and the child will disconnect from real life, and in his future life, he get in to trouble with social issues. Due to these negative impacts, I think parents must prohibit the child from playing with electronic games.

Additionally, the child does not learn any new thing by playing with these kinds of games, just do repetition tasks. He can not perceive basic facts on real life. Instead, he can spend his time to learn new facts, rules or many other interesting issues, which are very useful in our real lives. For example, he can learn basic information for each career, which can use to make better decision to choose his future career. Furthermore, He thinks that real life is same as the game environment; he can solve his problem just by one click. He is unable react to his problems in accurate way.

To sum up briefly, from what we have disgusted, we safely come to conclusion that prevents children from playing computer games is a rather wise decides.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: First, from my experience with my sister, I understand that families encourage their children to play these kind of game in order to they get rid of them.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and they

Sentence: Family member do not have time or can not stand the children moving, running, so they want to divert the child attention to another thing in order to relieved from child activity.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and relieved

Sentence: The child is not sensitive about his/her environment, he miss his curious.
Description: The fragment he miss his is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace miss with verb, past tense

Sentence: The child creativity and IQ decline and the child will disconnect from real life, and in his future life, he get in to trouble with social issues.
Description: The fragment he get in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, past tense

Sentence: He is unable react to his problems in accurate way.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to unable and react

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 308 350
No. of Characters: 1396 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.189 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.532 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.271 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.093 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.258 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5