What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

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What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

I am from small town, there is no higher education facility available, so I think higher education facility will make my hometown more attracting to my age people and generations to come. Students won’t need to move to other places for education and employment. This will also attract many employers, because availability of higher educated people at one place.

First, more people will be highly educated, if higher education facility is available at our hometown. From my own experience, I completed my graduation at my hometown, but I wanted to continue my education; wanted to do Master, but it was not available at our hometown. So, I had to move to other city for study. It is not possible for everyone to move from one place to other for studies. Not everyone can afford this, so higher education facility allows many to take higher education at hometown.

Second, population will be divided; and Metro Politian cities will not be highly crowded. Nowadays, we can see, population of Metro Politian cities is increasing day by day, as people started moving there. Metro Politian cities have higher education facilities, and more employment opportunities available than in small towns. This increase in population is creating many problems, such as traffic, pollution, expensive housing etc. It is very hard for common people to afford all these. So, if higher education facilities are available in our hometown, then why would we think to move to other place?

In addition, higher education facilities, directly or indirectly will attract employers, because they could find many highly educated students at one place. So, employers will think to open new companies or industries there. This will create employment in our hometown. This will automatically help in the overall development of the town.

Finally, there are many other things to change in my hometown, but I thought about higher education first, because of my own experience, and it will not only help to my age people, but also to future generations.

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Average: 8.3 (9 votes)
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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 144 200

You need to have more sentence varieties. Look, most of the essay sentence subject is 'I' or 'It' or 'This'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1638 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.934 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.693 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.071 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5