You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend.
In this world full of surprises, I believe that the best surprise for anybody is to receive a gift of money. If I would receive a gift of money,that would be enough to buy a piece of jewelry or some tickets to a concert that I would want to attend I think I will choose the first option.
Fist of all I would buy a nice piece of jewelry because it will last longer, I will enjoy wearing it and showing it around and because it will always be o good reminder of the person who was so nice to give me this gift of money.
We can also, consider that buying jewelry is a good investment and it could be consider a treasure.You can even earn some more if the value of gold would rise. For instance in case of an emergency of money we can always sell our gold jewlery. In the contrast, if I would have choose to buy some tickets they would have been good only one time and after that I can keep it just as a "souvenir" and it would not worth money in the future.
As any woman, I love to dress up and to wear jewelry. I like to have lots of jewelry, so I can match them with my clothes. I will always enjoy wearing jewelry and show them around. If I would receive a gift of money and I would definitely buy a jewelry with this money because it will always remind me the occasion when I received that gift. For instance my husband likes to buy me a neckless from each new place, city that we visit and I remember about the great time we had in that place every time when I'm wearing that neckless.
The last reason for my choice is that even I would like to attend to the concert I'm sure that I could watch the concert on TV or online or I could recorded it on my DVR.So, my choice will make me happy because I will have something nice to wear, something valuable, that will last and in the same time I will be able to see the concert, even if it;s not live.This decision will make me feel like I got both.
In conclusion, receiving a gift of money is the best gift ever because it gives you the opportunity to choose what do you want to do or what to buy with it. However, If I would have to choose between buying a piece of jewelry or some tickets to a concert I would definitely choose to buy the jewelry for all the reasons mentioned above.
Comments
Sentence: The last reason for
Sentence: The last reason for my choice is that even I would like to attend to the concert I'm sure that I could watch the concert on TV or online or I could recorded it on my DVR.So, my choice will make me happy because I will have something nice to wear, something valuable, that will last and in the same time I will be able to see the concert, even if it;s not live.This decision will make me feel like I got both.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to could and recorded
Sentence: For instance in case of an emergency of money we can always sell our gold jewlery.
Error: jewlery Suggestion: jewelry
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 1755 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 3.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.073 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 11 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.429 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.238 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
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