You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I was citizen in United State two years ago. All of my concerns were turning out my money to gold; however, all my American colleagues wondered why? They did not know that in my country "Iran" the worth of money change day in day out. They even couldn’t imagine! This story is just one experience that developing countries' citizens have. Approach of various people depending on the condition they live is overly different from each other. Why, then, some prefer to buy a piece of jewelry instead of other who prefer investing money on fun? My belief will elaborate on the basis of a division in which countries divide to developing and developed courtiers.

To begin with, developing countries' citizens' most common feature is tending to buy jewelers. For example, in Iran, where I live, majority of people tend to exchange their money to gold, as a commodity which has international worth. They cannot trust to economy of their country anymore because as soon as they keep the currency for ten years afterward they cannot buy a house which ten years before they could buy. Such way of thinking is so common among developing countries in which people mostly change their money to "Gold".

However, in developed countries this trend is not widespread. They mostly invest on their hobbies, fun, travel, and the like. For example, in the United State, where I temporary lived, I worked with my colleagues. All their concern was attending to a concert, movies, and theaters. Some months passed till I finally resembled them; nevertheless, even now I occasionally go for gold to market to save my money habitually. Maybe bad habits are hard broken!

All in all, I contend that jewelers are my option to buy. If you were instead of me, undoubtedly you had my choice too. Isn't that what you think?

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Average: 7 (3 votes)
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Sentence: For example, in the United State, where I temporary lived, I worked with my colleagues.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to I and temporary

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.762 21.0

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1431 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.616 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.486 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.762 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.676 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.449 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5