your answer.
It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.
Education is the most important right for every child all over the world, so every student should has a school that provides him or her with teaching to face with confidence the future. After I read the announced about building a new school in our community, I felt so happy due this necessary step, because it’s bring many advantages to both students and parents. So with respect to me it’s a great job from the government.
First of all, building new school in our neighborhood is efficient idea, especially with respect to the parents. The nearest school to our association is away about 3 km, so it’s consists a serious problem to the students. So they went to their school using bus, that mean they had to wake up early before the date of school about two hours to arrive without being late, due to the congestion. There are two negative thing caused by this problem: the first one, the student will lose their concentration and will get tired before finishing they day’s due to the decreasing of sleeping hours. The second one is parents expenses will increase due to the costs of the transportation for their child. After building the school both problem will solve.
Second, new school means needing new teachers, the job opportunities are available. Here in our community there are many people with good qualification and different certification without job, and to execute this project it needs who build it and who teach on it, so that mean available job for civil engineer, teacher and etc. This plan is very excellent that assist in helping those people to live a dignified life.
Finally, building a new school will be the reason of improving the economy of the around zone. New supermarkets and other entertainment building like playground will bring good returns that revive the region’s economy. So the life of the whole association will change completely to the best due to this effective project.
To sum up, announcement of building school is the best one that I read, after thinking of the results due to this project, it’s really will achieve a great benefit that support both the education and the economy in the town.
so every student should has a school that provides
so every student should have a school that provides
building new school in our neighborhood is efficient idea,
building new school in our neighborhood is an efficient idea,
so it’s consists a serious problem to the students.
so it consists a serious problem to the students.
Sentence: After I read the announced about building a new school in our community, I felt so happy due this necessary step, because it's bring many advantages to both students and parents.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to due and this
Description: The fragment it's bring many is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace bring with verb, past tense
Sentence: There are two negative thing caused by this problem: the first one, the student will lose their concentration and will get tired before finishing they day's due to the decreasing of sleeping hours.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, proper, genitive
Suggestion: Refer to they and day's
Sentence: The second one is parents expenses will increase due to the costs of the transportation for their child.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and parents
Sentence: Here in our community there are many people with good qualification and different certification without job, and to execute this project it needs who build it and who teach on it, so that mean available job for civil engineer, teacher and etc. This plan is very excellent that assist in helping those people to live a dignified life.
Description: The fragment needs who build it is rare
it’s really will achieve a great
it really will achieve a great
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1735 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.702 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.904 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.867 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5