In your opinion,which modern invention or scientific discovery has affected society the most?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the thesis statement,the author discusses the most important invention or scientific discovery that has affected the society .The author implies that at least there is one modern invention or scientific discovery for each person’s opinion as a turning point.According to the statement,the author is asking which of these options effect much and what it is.To me ,what makes a invention affecting is its usage rate and helping cabability.Computers are the best examples of that subject.I shall explain more details for my stance in the following paragraphs.
Let’s talk about our daily life at first.What is the most prevalent device being used today?Of course the computer covers our every step of life.Some staticians assert that in almost every house in the world,there is one computer at least.We can learn everything via using internet.It takes just few minutes to reach every piece of information.To illustrate,when ı was in the university ,ı always used my computer to learn new things about my subjects and homeworks.My friends and ı never let off our computer from our hands.I prepeare my presantation with my laptop.More interestingly,we can carry our computer wherever we go so it makes it be indispensable for me.
From bussiness sector to health and security sector,computers are being used in every corner.People can communicate with each other with using some applications i.e. skype,facebook …The interviews take place on the computer.It is easy to speak with an employeer or an employee from one continent to other .What is more,to find the location of any person in the map is provided with the applications of computers.Hence it supports the health and safety purposes .
In our leisure times,computers are the best.We can talk with our friends who is far away of us.Merely connecting to internet is needed for starting to enjoy .Also we can play games ,even with any other people wanting to play.
All in all,computers have many aspects for being in people’s life.It is an inevitable result to buy one .It like a sickness that if you have one,you will never be away of it.That is why ı love my computer much.
Sentence: It like a sickness that if you have one,you will never be away of it.
Description: The fragment It like a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace like with verb, past tense
Sentence: According to the statement,the author is asking which of these options effect much and what it is.To me , what makes a invention affecting is its usage rate and helping cabability.
Error: cabability Suggestion: capability
Sentence: I shall explain more details for my stance in the following paragraphs.
Error: stance Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Some staticians assert that in almost every house in the world,there is one computer at least.
Error: staticians Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: I prepeare my presantation with my laptop.More interestingly,we can carry our computer wherever we go so it makes it be indispensable for me.
Error: prepeare Suggestion: prepare
Error: presantation Suggestion: presentation
Sentence: From bussiness sector to health and security sector,computers are being used in every corner.
Error: bussiness Suggestion: business
Sentence: It is easy to speak with an employeer or an employee from one continent to other .
Error: employeer Suggestion: employer
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.833 21.0 (need more compound or complex sentences)
Don't leave a blank space before punctuation marks.
Leave a blank space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
You need to review your first paragraph, it is not the way for the introduction. You
can be more straight forward. Read other top essays to see how they write the first paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 out of 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1733 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.561 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.546 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.034 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5