TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

people should take risk to get succeed,rather than some people think,if they take risk,they lose everything they have so, they afraid of do it. in my opinion,except of thinking about how people get succeed the more important think is;how am I enjoy my life,and I really like to do the exciting job or going to the marvelous places that I have never been there before or taste a new and stranger foods that I have never eat it.

First, when people are going to go to foreign country to study and get progress .it is risky because maybe something bad happen to them, but they have never think about it ,every bad things could happen and it is not about where we are so they take it ,on the other hand be stable always not bad ,for example ,when the young man want to continue their family farm business as his job and never think about to continue his study in university .these things are people choices but in my opinion if they do not take risky chances ,they will get upset after some years ,because the fantastic opportunity just happen once in people life’s .

Second, when someone decision about something to do, that decision has effect on all his/her family, because when person married, he/she should decide what is the best for their family. For example, when my father took a decision to spent lots of money to bought an office to had more benefit and take risk, my mother and I was disagreeing because that office had very old build and he did not want to repair it and he just rent it to someone else. after few years he lose everything he paid because that old building got fire and collapsed, also he got heart attacked when he heard it.

In conclusion, people should take risk but the first thing that they should think about is what has more beneficial for their family without any bad happening for them, and always think about how they can have satisfied in their life.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
people should take risk to get succeed rather ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 122, Rule ID: I_AFRAID[2]
Message: You miss the verb here. You should rather write: 'they're afraid'.
Suggestion: they're afraid
... risk they lose everything they have so they afraid of do it in my opinion except of thinki...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 414, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'eaten'.
Suggestion: eaten
...ew and stranger foods that I have never eat it. First, when people are going to ...
^^^
Line 3, column 80, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...oreign country to study and get progress .it is risky because maybe something bad ...
^^
Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'thought'.
Suggestion: thought
...bad happen to them, but they have never think about it ,every bad things could happen...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 172, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...them, but they have never think about it ,every bad things could happen and it is ...
^^
Line 3, column 252, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s not about where we are so they take it ,on the other hand be stable always not b...
^^
Line 3, column 296, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... the other hand be stable always not bad ,for example ,when the young man want to ...
^^
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nd be stable always not bad ,for example ,when the young man want to continue thei...
^^
Line 3, column 442, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...bout to continue his study in university .these things are people choices but in m...
^^
Line 3, column 527, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...pinion if they do not take risky chances ,they will get upset after some years ,be...
^^
Line 3, column 565, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...es ,they will get upset after some years ,because the fantastic opportunity just h...
^^
Line 3, column 639, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y just happen once in people life's . Second, when someone decision about...
^^
Line 5, column 22, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'someone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'decisions'.
Suggestion: decisions
... life's . Second, when someone decision about something to do, that decision ha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 325, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... benefit and take risk, my mother and I was disagreeing because that office had very old build ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 450, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: After
...it and he just rent it to someone else. after few years he lose everything he paid be...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 469, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'loses'.
Suggestion: loses
... it to someone else. after few years he lose everything he paid because that old bui...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, really, second, so, for example, in conclusion, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1546.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 349.0 407.700716846 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.42979942693 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32221490584 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.09400309923 2.67179642975 78% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507163323782 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 484.2 618.680645161 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 20.6003584229 29% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 58.0 20.1344086022 288% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 170.577450639 48.9658058833 348% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 257.666666667 100.406767564 257% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 58.1666666667 20.6045352989 282% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 17.8333333333 5.45110844103 327% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.5376344086 307% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171771373758 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0867273458858 0.076458572812 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0667552863394 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11759165108 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0587096575112 0.0645574589148 91% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 28.5 11.7677419355 242% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 29.53 58.1214874552 51% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 23.6 10.1575268817 232% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 9.3 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 34.0 86.8835125448 39% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 26.0 10.002688172 260% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 25.2 10.0537634409 251% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 26.0 10.247311828 254% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.