TPO 40Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

TPO 40
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is universally accepted that we are happy when our children are doing good in their life. The question is now that whether it is good to offer some money for their high marks or not. No one can deny the fact that there are both positive and negative aspects of the fact. As far as I’m concerned, it is my firm belief that it would create a beneficial impact on the children for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
First and foremost, this accolade will encourage the children to do better in their studies as well as keeping them active in the class. When they are serious about their study, they will concentrate well and make the best use of time according to the requirement of their study schedule. To illustrate this, about ten years ago, when I was in my seventh grade, my uncle promised me that he will give me a handsome amount of money so that I can buy a violin if I had been first boy in the class. This commitment motivated me towards the best result I could ever make and push me through all the difficulties ahead of it. At last, I became the highest scorer in the final exam and purchased a violin with the money provided by my uncle.
Secondly, being motivated by the money, children will be more organized and goal oriented leading towards the better grades in the exam. They will be more sincere and focused to their ultimate climax. It will help them to learn to be competitive and making the best use of their resources and brainpower. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my personal experience. You see, my school has the policy of offering a full tuition fee waiver for those who have a result above ninety percent. I’ve always been studying hard to maintain that result by keeping the waiver policy as a motivation. This helped me to concentrate deeply in the class and making all other activities in an organized way.
In light of the above mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that providing the children with money for each high grade would have a positive impact on them.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Did you mean 'classes'?
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...t:115%'>class='it'>it class='is'>is universally accept...
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...that whether class='it'>it class='is'>is class='good&a...
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...m concerned, class='it'>it class='is'>is class='my&apo...
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...pos;>that class='it'>it class='would'>would create a ben...
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...align:justify;line-height:115%'> class='first'>first and for...
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...;first'>first boy in the class. this commitment motivated me towards the bes...
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...align:justify;line-height:115%'> Secondly, being motivated by the money, ...
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...ter'>better grades in the exam. they class='will'>will be more ...
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...e and focused to their ultimate climax. class='it'>it class='will&a...
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Suggestion: classes
...mate climax. class='it'>it class='will'>will help class=&ap...
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Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'been'.
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... result above ninety percent. I've always been studying hard to maintain class='t...
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...ther activities in an organized way. class='MsoNormal' style='text-...
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...align:justify;line-height:115%'> In light of the above mentioned reasons,...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, second, secondly, so, well

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3729.0 1977.66487455 189% => OK
No of words: 388.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 9.61082474227 4.8611393121 198% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 11.3106465143 2.67179642975 423% => Word_Length_SD is high.
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525773195876 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 976.5 618.680645161 158% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 2.5 1.51630824373 165% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 32.0 9.59856630824 333% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 116.799920605 48.9658058833 239% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 219.352941176 100.406767564 218% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 22.8235294118 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.17647058824 5.45110844103 40% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.5376344086 325% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0347057621346 0.236089414692 15% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0283850273145 0.076458572812 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0222622873362 0.0737576698707 30% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.033010401751 0.150856017488 22% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00624092223352 0.0645574589148 10% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 35.2 11.7677419355 299% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -27.0 58.1214874552 -46% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 6.10430107527 239% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 22.5 10.1575268817 222% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 38.75 10.9000537634 356% => Coleman_liau_index is high.
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 10.002688172 170% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 23.0 10.247311828 224% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.