The author of the argument has posited that we should persuade youth to aim at long-term goals and at the same time dissuade them for imminent results. While the argument seems convincing at first glance, a deeper analysis is required before jumping to the conclusion. In my opinion this approach should be taken on a case to case basis rather than applying it universally.
For first, we all know that the young generation is the future of a country and that future depends on how well we shape these young minds. Undoubtedly, young people are more enthusiastic and keener as compared to older generation. But having said that one cannot simply negate the contribution of the seasoned mature people. They contribute to the society by guiding rookie to the right path of success. There is an old adage that “patience and pertinence” is the key to success. This life lesson should be taught to every young person in order to pursue their goals. Consider, for example, the discovery of medicine to cure the Ebola virus disease that out-broke years earlier in Nzara, South Sudan in 1976. The discovery of new drug capable to cure Ebola virus disease took years of painstaking efforts before hitting the jackpot. Countless experiments were conducted behind the closed doors of a laboratory, drugs were tested on animals to validate the efficacy of drug, before finally putting it on pharmacies for human use. Had the scientists looked for immediate results, they would not have succeeded in this ground breaking innovation.
On the contrary to that, the scenario is conversed if we look at the field of sport events. Although it is true that guidance of seasoned sportsman is required to succeed in any sport but the major factor is alacrity and energy of the youth which is actively participating in sports. The aforementioned qualities of the youth are mostly determining factor in most sport events and those efforts are results of impending outcome expectations. Spontaneous actions bring imminent results in sport events. For instance, in rugby, a sportsman is expected to be equipped with sense of attack, at several junctures of the game. If the player doesn’t take immediate action at such point, he might lose the opportunity as well as good outcome. In sports, players should react quick grabbing every opportunity which could vanish at any moment of time. In this case the results are immediate followed by fame and recognition, transfiguring the person as hero.
To sum up, perhaps, the theory proposed by the author does prove advantageous in many cases but applying it universally would be fallible leading to unexpected results. In fact, if this policy is applied by carefully examining the demand of the situation, it will help spur the goals of an individual.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 200, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...people are more enthusiastic and keener as compared to older generation. But havin...
^^
Line 7, column 303, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l help spur the goals of an individual.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, look, so, thus, well, while, for example, for instance, in fact, as well as, in many cases, in my opinion, it is true, on the contrary, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 58.6224719101 125% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2337.0 2235.4752809 105% => OK
No of words: 462.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05844155844 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7947981206 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 215.323595506 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569264069264 0.4932671777 115% => OK
syllable_count: 734.4 704.065955056 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.3459548197 60.3974514979 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 101.608695652 118.986275619 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0869565217 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.39130434783 5.21951772744 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150119590345 0.243740707755 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0362916887466 0.0831039109588 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0360554646145 0.0758088955206 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0786717386835 0.150359130593 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0299135412247 0.0667264976115 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.04 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 100.480337079 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.