TOEFL essay: Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Since always, people around the whole world like travel. Traveling could be considered one of the most pleasant things to do in the life. Many people when traveling like to visit several places, know the local culture, and one of the favorite places are museums. In my opinion people like to visit the museums because is the way to know about curiosities, rarities, and cultures from a determinate place that occurred in the past, or even in the present.

First and foremost, many museums are recognized and admired worldly. For example, the Louvre’s museum. Almost for sure, all people who go to France visit the Louvre’s museum too. Several paintings from many famous’ artists are there, one of the most known is Monalisa’s paint from Leonardo da Vinci. These paintings are incredible expensive and precious. When I went to visit Paris last year, I had an opportunity to visit the Louvre’s museum.

Second, apart from the prestigious of museums, the people can go to the museums in order to learning or studying about something. Moreover, the places as museums can be visited by all members family, and wherefore can be consider the mainly choice to gather all family. In these places have many activities and options for all stages’ life. Museums are fun and in most cases we can find many things which we never thought to exist.

To put it in a nutshell, I firmly believe that one of the most important reasons when people choose to go to the museum when traveling is to discover new cultures and have fun with the family. People also like to visit museums because there they can discover themselves and have a new look about the world.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'members'' or 'member's'?
Suggestion: members'; member's
...places as museums can be visited by all members family, and wherefore can be consider t...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, look, moreover, second, so, apart from, for example, in most cases, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 43.0788530466 30% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1397.0 1977.66487455 71% => OK
No of words: 285.0 407.700716846 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90175438596 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65423232125 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 212.727598566 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505263157895 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.0716745768 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.3125 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8125 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331979747598 0.236089414692 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116851478731 0.076458572812 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0726701791823 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.216845897494 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0585326046879 0.0645574589148 91% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.84 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.