Your first task is to write a personal introduction Divide your introduction into four main sections 1 Your background Your country of origin The length of time you have lived in Australia Language s spoken at home Your family Vivid memories Your living a

Essay topics:

Your first task is to write a personal introduction. Divide your introduction into four main sections,

1 Your background
• Your country of origin.
• The length of time you have lived in Australia.
• Language (s) spoken at home
• Your family
• Vivid memories
• Your living arrangements (with family, host family or independently)
2 Your subjects this year and your career plans.
3 Your interests, role models, places you want to visit, impressions of Australia, what you love about your own culture.
4 Your strengths and weaknesses in English. E.g., are you a confident speaker but you feel you need to develop your writing skills further?

My name is Minh Nhut Kien, and I am from Vietnam. I have been living in Australia, particularly Adelaide, for one and a half year since July 2019. In this reflection, I will discuss some interesting facts about myself in terms of personal experience, interests, and my life in Australia.
Firstly, I will talk about my background. I speak Vietnamese with my family and friends back in Vietnam, however, I am currently living with an Australian host family, therefore English is the main language that I speak at home. I feel grateful because of being given a wonderful opportunity to live in an Australian family to improve my English and exchange the Vietnamese and Australian cultures. Personally, the most vivid memories of living in Australia are the international camps held in 2019 and 2020. Not only did I make new friends but I also participated in different activities that built the connections between me and the Australian nature.
Year 12 will be the most important school year of my life. My subjects this year will be EAL, Chemistry, Mathematical Methods and Specialist Mathematics. To prepare for the upcoming stressful year, in the holiday, I took part in the tutoring program of IES, which was extremely beneficial. I have not decided on my career yet. Before coming to Australia, I was willing to become a doctor. However, the university tuition fees for international Medicine students are unaffordable by my parents. I am also interested in technology, therefore Computer Science will be my second preference. In the coming years, especially next year, I will aspire to the career that I choose no matter what challenges I will face.
I consider myself a fairly industrious student at school, therefore after a hard-working day, when I get home, I spend most of my leisure time on my interests. I like playing guitar and listening to Vietnamese pop songs. In my opinion, music is one of the most effective ways to help me increase positive emotions, which probably improve my performance in class. Besides, I like reading books, particularly communication and social skills books. However, I find them quite philosophical and complicated to understand. Therefore, for relaxing, I like reading other genres such as detective fiction and teen fiction. Undoubtedly, my interests help me unwind after school.
I do not have a particular role model to emulate. My life purpose is to be healthy and happy with the ones I love. I personally define success as being satisfied with what I have already achieved. Therefore, my imaginary role model would probably be someone who is community-oriented, caring for others, and always stays positive. I am trying to improve myself by looking after my physical and mental health to become the role model that I want.
If I have another chance, I will visit Japan and Singapore in the coming future. I have been to Japan and Singapore twice, and both of them are well-developed Asian countries. I would love to find out more about the Japanese culture, especially Japanese cuisine, as well as the economy of Singapore. The purposes of the last visits to these two places were purely to relax after a hard-working year with my family. Therefore, I hope that my future visits to these two countries will focus on broadening my knowledge about their cultures and economies.
I have had many wonderful impressions of Australia. Firstly, most of the Australian people that I have met are friendly and helpful. I remembered that in July 2019, when I first came here, I usually got lost because I was not familiar with using the map, however, when I asked strangers for directions, they were willing to help me. Secondly, I am exceptionally impressed with the educational methods of Australian teachers. Students can interact more with teachers and their classmates, whereas in traditional Vietnamese classrooms, there are not many interactions. Moreover, by the utilisation of technology and digital resources, I can be more actively access to information and knowledge, rather than being dependent on the teachers. Besides, after a year in mainstream, I have had many opportunities to develop my teamwork and problem-solving skills by doing assignments in science-based classes. Therefore, I am impressed with the facts that not only will students gain knowledge but they will also develop necessary soft skills that they will need in the future. Finally, Adelaide is well-known as “The Festival City”. I have been to some events and festivals since I came here, including the Royal Adelaide Show, Adelaide Fringe, and the OzAsia Festival. The ways that people organise these stunning festivals and events are incredible and entertaining. Overall, there is no doubt that I have made the right decision to come to Australia, particularly Adelaide, to continue my academic career.
If I had to choose one thing that I love about my culture, I would say that the Tet holiday is my favourite. In Vietnam, besides using the solar calendar, people also use the lunar calendar. The Tet holiday is the Lunar New Year holiday in Vietnam. There are some differences between the Vietnamese Tet holiday and the Chinese New Year holiday. It usually occurs in January or February, and students will have a two-week holiday. I am quite family-oriented, so I like spending this holiday on helping my mother to clean the house and cook traditional meals. It is also a good time to visit my grandparents and relatives. The Vietnamese kids love this holiday because they will get some ‘lucky money’ in red envelopes from adults. It is a disappointment that I cannot travel back home this year to spend some time during this holiday with my family. Hopefully, next year would be a better year so that I can enjoy this holiday with the ones I love.
Over the last one and a half years, my English has significantly improved, my strengths have been developed, but I could not remove my weaknesses. I realised that my writing is much better than it used to be in terms of academic writing. My listening and reading skills have also improved by reading journal articles and listening to TV news and podcasts. However, when studying Year 11 EAL, I had many difficulties in using sophisticated vocabularies, and sometimes I also lacked complex ideas. Moreover, I have not quite mastered identifying the language features and stating their purposes in texts. Besides, I cannot speak English fluently and confidently. Therefore, I hope that my strengths will be enhanced, and my weaknesses will be improved this year.
To conclude, I hope that by sharing some of my experience in Australia and some facts about myself and my culture, you would have a deeper understanding about who I am and what I love and respect in my life. I look forward to being in your EAL class and working with you this year.

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2021-01-26 nhutkien 3 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1078, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t they will need in the future. Finally, Adelaide is well-known as “The Festival ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, whereas, i feel, no doubt, such as, as well as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 42.0 15.1003584229 278% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 28.0 9.8082437276 285% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 51.0 13.8261648746 369% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 26.0 11.0286738351 236% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 160.0 43.0788530466 371% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 132.0 52.1666666667 253% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 5701.0 1977.66487455 288% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 1141.0 407.700716846 280% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99649430324 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.81194386657 4.48103885553 130% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98807081642 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 481.0 212.727598566 226% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421560035057 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1835.1 618.680645161 297% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 54.0 9.59856630824 563% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 9.0 1.86738351254 482% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 64.0 20.6003584229 311% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.0392842982 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.078125 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.828125 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.71875 5.45110844103 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 10.0 4.53405017921 221% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 46.0 11.8709677419 388% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.88709677419 307% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0729398207231 0.236089414692 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0171864024295 0.076458572812 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0282827868041 0.0737576698707 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0410353565206 0.150856017488 27% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0346630210515 0.0645574589148 54% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.42 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 252.0 86.8835125448 290% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 0.2 Out of 6.0
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.