Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author believes that the purported decline in Arctic dear population is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns for food across the frozen sea, which have been melted due to global warming. While her argument may sound logical, the correlation between her claims are tenuous and would require further evidence to susbstantiate her claims.
Firstly, the author claims that global warming is the cause of the population decline of the deers. She assumes that because the reportings of population decline coincides with the recent global warming trends, the decline can be attributed to global warming. Nonetheless, she fails to provide evidence regarding any possibility of other external forces that may affect the populatoin of the deers. It could have been over hunting by the hunters causing the deers to perish, or an increase in car accidents killing deers as a result of urbanization. So many factors may come into play..
Secondly, elaborating on the effects of global warming towards the Arctic lands, not only will it melt more ice, it will also make more areas warmer to sustain plants the deers feed on. This would mean that the deers may no longer need to follow their old migration patterns based on the search of food, because their current habitat provides more food to sustain their population. The hunters who are oblivious to this change may obtusely follow their old migration patterns and thus thought the deers were declining. This would mean that their reportings are highly subjective, and may not be a reliable source to account for the number of deers.
Lastly, global warming has been affecting the world since a century ago. It is only recently had the general public become aware of the insidious effects of global warming. If global warming truly is the source of the decline, this decline should have been observed well over a century ago. Unless of course the warming has been exacerbated locally due to many new factories being build near the islands, it is unlikely that global warming is the main reason why the deers are perishing.
In conclusion, although global warming may be affecting the Arctic island habitat, we cannot be certain that it is causing the deers to decline. Unless the author can provide evidence to support her claims, the decrease may equally likely to be caused by other factors, or may not even be happening.
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| 2020-01-28 | jenniferjack07 | 55 | view |
| 2020-01-28 | lanhhoang | 50 | view |
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- TOEFL T P O 24 Integrated Writing Task 3
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1969 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.886 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.364 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.902 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 585, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...tion. So many factors may come into play.. Secondly, elaborating on the effect...
^^
Line 7, column 102, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...entury ago. It is only recently had the general public become aware of the insidious effects o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, nonetheless, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, in conclusion, of course, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2020.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 403.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01240694789 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44172769238 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493796526055 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 617.4 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.6766837165 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.823529412 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7058823529 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.58823529412 5.70786347227 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155075712763 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0500002066339 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.052479875254 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0852909377117 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0422890704638 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.