The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/ or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author of this article concludes that the decline in fitness levels in the region of Corpora is a result of the decline in economy. The author suggests that if economy improves, fitness levels of the citizens will improve as well. Although this argument might sound logical, it is fraught with assumptions that if proven wrong significantly undermine the authors main conclusion. High dependence on evidence without any indication of proper validation, vague language, and the assumption of causal relationships with a scientific base are some of the weaknesses of the arguments used. Unless the author provides more sound evidence to support his/her main thesis, his/her arguments remain unconvincing.
First and foremost, the author asserts a decline in fitness levels compared to twenty years ago. However, she states that twenty years ago higher percentage of people met the fitness standards as defined then, whereas a lower percentage of people meet these standards as defined today. From this statement, it becomes clear that there is no way to see whether these standards have changed through the years. If they have changed, then the comparison of the two groups of people is invalid as fitness is not conceptualized in the same way as in the past. The standards might have become stricter through the years. To strengthen the argument the author should provide more information about how the fitness standards differ in the two periods of time and possibly convert the meaning of fitness levels of the past in today’s standards. Only this way the comparison would be meaningful, and the author could infer that fitness of the citizens has declined.
Additionally, the author attempts to make a connection between computer ownership and better fitness in the citizens of Corpora to argue that computer ownership is not connected with a decline in fitness levels as usually assumed. She suggests that citizens of Corpora who are more likely to own computers are more physically fit, and thus spending too much time in front of computers is not associated with fitness. However, other factors might play a role in this apparent relationship, for which evidence is not presented. For example, it might be the case that these regions of Corpora have better places to walk and do sports and, therefore, although citizens do spend time with their computer, they compensate for its negative effects by doing more sports. The author makes her conclusion without properly considering other factors that might explain this apparent lack of association.
Finally, and most importantly, the author assumes a causal relationship between the decrease in fitness-related low expenditures with a decline in economy. Although this argument seems logical not adequate evidence is provided to establish a causal relationship. One explanation of lower spending in fitness related products and services might be that citizens are busy with other activities or their employment which makes them less likely to prioritize their physical fitness. Another explanation could be that physical health is not highly praised in the region and therefore citizens are less motivated to pursue it. Unless the author provides more evidence to support this causal relationship, perhaps conducting a survey about the citizens’ attitudes toward fitness and the effect of their financial situation on their decision not to exercise, the argument remains unsubstantiated.
In conclusion, the improperly validated arguments of the author make the conclusion unconvincing. More information is needed to suggest that improvement in economy would be inevitably linked to an increase in physical fitness of the citizens.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK, also need to argue: 'and fitness levels will improve when the economy does'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 581 350
No. of Characters: 3056 1500
No. of Different Words: 254 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.91 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.26 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.777 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 256 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 201 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 127 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.208 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.421 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.458 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 544, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...elationships with a scientific base are some of the weaknesses of the arguments used. Unles...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 157, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...expenditures with a decline in economy. Although this argument seems logical not adequat...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, so, then, therefore, thus, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3135.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 579.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41450777202 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90534594407 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89627264155 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459412780656 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 977.4 705.55239521 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.260366753 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.625 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.125 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.130908360101 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0371169903291 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0317164320393 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0670906047111 0.128457276422 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0369586330275 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 154.0 98.500998004 156% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.