In this memo, the author contends that it would not be proper that if the XYZ company change their working partener company Delany Personnel Firm with the less cost company- Walsh Personnel Firm.
He tells us as an laid-off employees service provider, the Delany did great job last year, the people laid off from XYZ company who got the help of Delany offered, including creating resume and developing interviewing skills,benefit a lot, in that they found jobs again than those who did not got the help from Delany company. Meanwhile, the clients of Delany found jobs within six months in average while the Walsh's clients took nine. Moreover, the Walsh company cooperated with XYZ eight years ago, their inferior jobs in helping laid-off employees paled in their less cost. But the author's assumption is problematic, there are some loopholes in the statement, we need to evaluate them carefully.
To begin with, the author does not tell us the condition of the XYZ company as well as the development of Walsh. Eight years passed, what happened to both of the companies is in question, thus we could not conclude that the Walsh company could not compete with the Delany company. Also, without the condition of the XYZ company, we do not know how has this company developed in eight years. Maybe the XYZ was a firm which sold rubbers while now it sells cellphones like Nokia. In that it is important to know the workers' performance in the company, maybe eight years ago, the Walsh was not good at training these laid-off employees due to the certain kind of work among these laid-off people. While now, as the infromation given in the memo, we could not make a determined conclusion that which Personnnel Firm is the better choice for the XYZ company.
In addtion, the scale of the laid-off worker metioned in the passage is not accurate. In that it is important to know how many laid-off workers who received the help from these two Personnel Firm takes in part of the whole laid-off workers. This criterion is a significant standard to judge the perfromances of these two companies. Another catergory problem is that the author does not metion how does he compare the numbers of the laid-off workers who received assistance with those who not. In that may be the laid-off workers may find other jobs out of the original field of the XYZ, while the Personnel Firms still provided the service to these employees in order to let them get back to their previous work. Thus the comparisons mentioned in the statement are not convincing.
In all, the atuhor's idea is not convicing. To make his assumption more compelling, he should make a wider survey to find out which company is better.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2175 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.688 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.4 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.527 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 16, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...- Walsh Personnel Firm. He tells us as an laid-off employees service provider, th...
^^
Line 2, column 225, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , benefit
...esume and developing interviewing skills,benefit a lot, in that they found jobs again th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 585, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...oyees paled in their less cost. But the authors assumption is problematic, there are so...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 514, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'workers'' or 'worker's'?
Suggestion: workers'; worker's
...ia. In that it is important to know the workers performance in the company, maybe eight...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 714, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...t them get back to their previous work. Thus the comparisons mentioned in the statem...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, moreover, so, still, thus, well, while, kind of, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2230.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81641468683 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50089898889 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475161987041 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 667.8 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.4580647031 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.368421053 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3684210526 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.94736842105 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297576022282 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0839579291286 0.0743258471296 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0717439185946 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150948224036 0.128457276422 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0834538994189 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.