The following appeared in a memorandum issued by a large city’s council on the arts:“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years a

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memorandum issued by a large city’s council on the arts:
“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now being threatened with severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art museums will also start to decrease. Thus some of the city’s funds for supporting the arts should be reallocated to public television.”

The conclusion made my the city council in regards to the impact of budget cuts is flawed and lacks evidence to support its claim. The justification for the museum’s conclusion is limited by a survey that was conducted for television programing rather than specifically for the museum. However there are several other factors which should be considered before coming to this conclusion.

Firstly, museum is assuming that the residents who watched the programs on television are visiting the Museum. However, the poll that the museum was referring to merely states that 15 percent more residents watch television programs about visual arts without giving more information as to whether the residents surveyed where interested in visiting the museums after watching the programs on television. Secondly, the museum should also consider doing their own poll to gather more information regarding what caused the rise of visitor to the museum that way their conclusion could be justified. Lastly, the
 memorandum issued by the museum also predicts that by allocating funds to public television would increase the visitors to the museum which has no substantial justification. The museum could look into other marketing strategies and alternatives which would influence the visitors.

Since the memorandum issued only consider a single poll which was conducted five years ago as the basis for its conclusion, it is not justifiable and the argument is severely flawed. however, by considering the above points discussed, the museum could validate their conclusion and present a legitimate case.

Votes
Average: 3.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 41, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: regarding; with regard to
...The conclusion made my the city council in regards to the impact of budget cuts is flawed and...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 292, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ather than specifically for the museum. However there are several other factors which s...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 284, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...al arts without giving more information as to whether the residents surveyed where interested...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 608, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nclusion could be justified. Lastly, the
 memorandum issued by the museum also pre...
^^
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...le and the argument is severely flawed. however, by considering the above points discus...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, look, regarding, second, secondly, so, as to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 55.5748502994 50% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1355.0 2260.96107784 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 246.0 441.139720559 56% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5081300813 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.96035189615 4.56307096286 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85229451105 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 204.123752495 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.581300813008 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 417.6 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.4671975135 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.5 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.7 5.70786347227 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235398232638 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0876952280432 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854514791759 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148106692301 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0295278644522 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.38 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.