The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the website of Mozart Music School, they published a claim that they hold the first position in the choice of parents for their children to enroll in music schools. For evidence, they have provided that they have some specific qualities like they welcome all level entries of youngsters as well offers various music genres and have produced well known musicians over the time. While the authors contention can be true that this school is the first choice of parents; his or her argument as it stands now, rests on three unstated assumptions that weakens the persuasiveness of the claim.
Firstly, the author assumes that the website is showing a true contents. There may be different cases like music schools are giving the fallacious evidence to enroll more students in their school as well as what if there are no other options for parents on that area without enrolling their child on that school. Therefore, they are publishing it claiming as "first choice" for having to competitor on that are.
Secondly, the author assumes that offering various instructions for different music serves the best quality for every genres. For instance, it may be a case that the quality they are serving for most of the genres are not enough for children to learn music properly. Generally a children is enrolled mostly in one genres first to learn properly rather they are enrolled in various genres to learn superficially. Therefore, offering wide ranges does not provide enough evidence for claim of being first choice for parents.
Thirdly, the author assumes that "many Mozart graduate" represents the true number of well known musician. It maybe a case that there are 1000 of music students are enrolled in Mozart School, but only 10-15 students can be a professional musicians after their graduations and rest of students are being frustrated for not being well enough in learning music. And their claimed "Mozart graduates" may be doing well due to their own talents and impact of Mozart School in their path of being well musicians are not significant.
So to conclude, the above statement of being the first choice of parents and supporting evidence rises a lot of questions of authenticity and if not answered properly then the claim does not hold the water.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1846 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.871 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.443 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.888 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...nown musicians over the time. While the authors contention can be true that this school...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 278, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...dren to learn music properly. Generally a children is enrolled mostly in one genres first ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 249, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'musician'?
Suggestion: musician
...ly 10-15 students can be a professional musicians after their graduations and rest of stu...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, well, while, for instance, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1924.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0765171504 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67429574963 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.459102902375 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.5990319613 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.428571429 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0714285714 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.71428571429 5.70786347227 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.373536954417 0.218282227539 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.138233599233 0.0743258471296 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101368316599 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.213043403171 0.128457276422 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0818516286435 0.0628817314937 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.