The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine.
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The argument stating the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly adding that these stores should begin to replace some of their products with the intention of attracting middle-aged consumer can be cogently agreed upon but to a certain extent only. A statistical data has been provided to support the given argument which makes an intriguing revelation about the different types of consumers engaging in different kinds of products the store has to offer.
The statistical data states middle-aged consumers devote more of their expenditure on store products and services in comparison to younger consumers. If the given data is to be considered true then the deriving conclusion is valid, however, If it is not then this could result in quite the opposite of what the store expects in future. The data fails to provide sufficient context regarding the survey which was conducted to strengthen the argument and its conclusion. It doesn't have the exact number of different consumers that might have been surveyed which makes the conclusion plausible but false. The acks consistency in the context that the total expenditure of the consumers could be as high as possible and very low at the same time. This could result into faulty reasoning and conclusion.
The argument suggests that number of middle-aged consumers is likely to increase in the next decade, concluding department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. This conclusion extends to support the claim that stores should begin replacing some of the products to attract middle-aged consumers. If the fact is to be taken as true, the store can expect an increase in their profits with more middle-aged customers engaging in their stores. However if this is to be taken as false, then store can expect a decline in their profits for the next decade. The fact the middle-aged population is going to increase fails to substantiate that there will be a subsequent increase in consumer expenditure. It doesn't take into account the total population which was considered. Maybe only a certain demographical area was surveyed for the conclusion.
In conclusion, the argument engages with that provided statistical data concluding that revenue of stores will increase in the coming decade. However, it fails to substantiate the data that can be relied upon.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 2034 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.162 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.809 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.568 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... the opposite of what the store expects in future. The data fails to provide sufficient c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 474, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...hen the argument and its conclusion. It doesnt have the exact number of different cons...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...laim that stores should begin replacing some of the products to attract middle-aged consume...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 480, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ged customers engaging in their stores. However if this is to be taken as false, then s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 739, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nt increase in consumer expenditure. It doesnt take into account the total population ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2071.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28316326531 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84909466867 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.418367346939 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 643.5 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.4262035241 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.823529412 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0588235294 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76470588235 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20814786518 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0755853768529 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0771645488764 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130830114363 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0664558893353 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.