The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine. "A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night." Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author argues that the results that the prosperity of a business is directly linked with the employment of people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night. It seems plausible because the author shows some apparently compelling surveys and data related to the competency of advertising executives. However, this argument is rife with holes and assumptions, not thus, strong enough to lead the businesses to employing the people who have less sleeping time.
First, the author assumes that the cited recent study is completely reliable, representative, and valid for strengthening his/her assertion. However, one may cast doubt on the study’s application to the argument. Researchers of the study may use severely lopsided samples to manipulate the results in favor of that they hoped. For example, they may study 300 male and female cases, but the number of men is significantly high than women in them. Women is yet likely to have to do their best both in the career and in household, if then, they need to sleep less.
On the other hand, the respondents of the study may be relatively younger than the remainders of entire advertising executives. As a matter of course, the younger people is generally so vigorous and healthy that they have no problem with sleeping less time. However, in many cases, being an executive has required lots of time and profession in that field, which the young are unlikely to have. To sum up, more detailed information about the study may strengthen or seriously weaken the author’s argument.
Second, the author suggests that the causal relationship between the longer working time and higher profit with surgy growth is completely compelling and continuing. Nevertheless this explanation is factual, that cannot show the extent of efficiency of work in advertising executives. For instance, if a man works during 12 hours and makes $1,000 profit, he is less effective in the work than another man working 8 hours and makes $800 profit. The more attractive employees to the businesses may be the effective workers, not the severe workaholics. Moreover, this tendency with longer working times may not be persistent during a long-term period. Extra works during early day or late night tends to provoke fatigue and sleep deprivation, which may cause the low efficiency of workers. In summary, a longer term research and more sophisticated comparison about the mentioned factors which may make more profit would support or counter the author’s claim.
Finally, the author presumes that the only factor for prosperity of a business is the employment of people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night. If the shown explanation in the article is actually true, however, many other occasions will render a person more attractive and charming to the employers e g. knowledge in certain fields (here the advertising), ability to use a variety of design programs, or the sociable personality with colleagues and the firms. Actually, it may impossible that any company can recruit a potential employee who sleeps less than 6 hours of sleep per night. How can we check the fact by what ways? We are able to read a person’s competency with interview or exams, however, the factors what author emphasized cannot not be clearly confirmed unless one secretly installed cameras in each of the applicants to the businesses. In fact, the author argues a critically unreasonable content.
In conclusion, the author’s assertion cannot be fully agreed with. In any business, making profit more and faster is the most important issue to maintain itself. However, the author needs to provide us more specific information related to the cited study and survey, how to confirm the extent of sleeping in all applicants, and other reasons which may be beneficial in the businesses to selecting a smart and creative people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 168, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Nevertheless,
...s completely compelling and continuing. Nevertheless this explanation is factual, that canno...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 341, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...if a man works during 12 hours and makes ,000 profit, he is less effective in the ...
^^
Line 10, column 69, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... assertion cannot be fully agreed with. In any business, making profit more and fa...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, apparently, but, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, then, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, in summary, of course, in many cases, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 11.1786427146 233% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3230.0 2260.96107784 143% => OK
No of words: 632.0 441.139720559 143% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11075949367 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.01394158123 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81713830442 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 313.0 204.123752495 153% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495253164557 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 991.8 705.55239521 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.023048662 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.379310345 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7931034483 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.79310344828 5.70786347227 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179114243494 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0482752798834 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0465602790952 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0994546329571 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0359283514766 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 161.0 98.500998004 163% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.