The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine."A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep t

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.

"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The author of the article in a business magazines advises to hire people who sleep less than 6 hours per night, because it will lead to thriving business. Although, he provides a study carries out recently as a strong evidence of his reccomendation, the provided part of the article is full of logical flaws.

Firs of all, the organization of the study is unclear. Since 300 workes of Mentian were taken to study, we cannot be sure that this number is enough to provide accurate results. The sample can be not enough if the company is too large as well as we do not know how these people were chosen. If it was not a random choise, then the results do not show the full picture of the situuation.

Moreover, we cannot rely on the experience of Mentain as a great example. For example, this company can thrive and has a good profit because of other reasons as a good quality of products, the market demand or the lack of competitors. Thus, if other business companies want to be successful too, they should prpbably find problems they have.

Also, it is unclear how the sleeping time is associated with fast growing. Maybe, those people are better margins, because they are hard-working, well-educated and high-motivated people, while those who sleep mpore than 6 hours are freshmen, and do not have enough work experience.

To sum up, based on the arguments provided in the essay, we cannot be sure that people whose sleep time is less than 6 hours will lead to the benefits of business.

Votes
Average: 5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 41, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'magazine'?
Suggestion: magazine
...The author of the article in a business magazines advises to hire people who sleep less t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 59, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'hiring'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'advise' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: hiring
...article in a business magazines advises to hire people who sleep less than 6 hours per ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, well, while, for example, as well as, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 55.5748502994 50% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1236.0 2260.96107784 55% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 264.0 441.139720559 60% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.68181818182 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03089032464 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62571866939 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.57196969697 0.468620217663 122% => OK
syllable_count: 383.4 705.55239521 54% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.3730587142 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.0 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162431788401 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0558937315075 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0447244355541 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0875503338095 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497116251861 0.0628817314937 79% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 12.5979740519 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 98.500998004 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: Although, he provides a study carries out recently as a strong evidence of his reccomendation, the provided part of the article is full of logical flaws.
Error: reccomendation Suggestion: recommendation

Sentence: Since 300 workes of Mentian were taken to study, we cannot be sure that this number is enough to provide accurate results.
Error: workes Suggestion: works

Sentence: If it was not a random choise, then the results do not show the full picture of the situuation.
Error: choise Suggestion: choose
Error: situuation Suggestion: situation

Sentence: Thus, if other business companies want to be successful too, they should prpbably find problems they have.
Error: prpbably Suggestion: probably

Sentence: Maybe, those people are better margins, because they are hard-working, well-educated and high-motivated people, while those who sleep mpore than 6 hours are freshmen, and do not have enough work experience.
Error: mpore Suggestion: more

---------------

argument 1 -- OK, but more: This survey has studied 300 executives, all of them in the field of advertising, hence it may not be representative of other business areas. The survey must include more individuals and involve different fields in order to be symbolic of the whole directors.

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- can put inside argument 2.
----------------
Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:

These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night.

we may argue:
1. people who sleep over 6 hours can still be successful
2. suppose it works for the business of advertising, it doesn't mean it will work for other business.

----------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1189 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.504 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.502 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 82 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 57 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.223 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.643 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5