The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the summary of the study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia, the author concludes that the use of salicylates as flavor additives for foods is expected to lead to a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia. The author came to this conclusion because he assumes that salicylates, a member of the same chemical family as aspirin can treat headaches just like aspirin. However, while the conclusion drawn by the author might hold water, it rests on several unfounded assumptions that, if not substantiated, dramatically weaken the effectiveness of the argument. Thus, the following three assumptions must be addressed.
Firstly, the author assumes that salicylates which are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, can serve as medicine to cure headaches just like aspirin. Perhaps, salicylates although being same chemical family as aspirin, contain other component element which only contribute to the severity of the headache, rather than mitigate it. It is also possible that the component element(s) in aspirin which cures headache exist in minute proportion in salicylates and thereby, not sufficient to cure headache. If either of the above scenarios proves true, then the assertion made by the author is significantly hampered.
Furthermore, the author assumes that all the participants in the twenty-year study have been taking foods containing salicylates and thereby directly correlate with the decline in the number of reported headaches. Possibly, a large number of participants of the study preferred home-made and therefore, do not necessarily need to take foods containing preservatives. Perhaps, the participants of the study do not have access to purchasing food containing salicylates as preservatives. If the above is the case, the author should rather make further studies to get data on the type of food the participants of the study eat. This is to help establish whether the food containing salicylates as preservatives has a correlation with the decline in the headache.
Lastly, the author assumes that salicylates existing as flavor additives for food, would have the same effect as when it is existing in its natural state to cure headache. Perhaps, salicylates can only be used as flavor additives for food in gaseous or liquid state. In which case, change of state could result to a reduction or non-existence of its effectiveness as a cure to headache. It is also possible that only a small quantity of salicylates is needed as flavor additives for food which may not be sufficient to cure headache. If the above are true, then, it is very unlikely that there would be decline in the number of headaches suffered by the people of Mentia.
In conclusion, it is possible that salicylates may cure headache as assumed by the author, however, it is necessary that the author provides additional evidences indicating that salicylates can cure headache as effective as aspirin, that the participants of his study were eating food containing salicylates over the cause of the study period and that salicylates as flavor additive could be as effective as it would be in its natural state.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2620 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.107 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.942 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.905 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 224, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...number of reported headaches. Possibly, a large number of participants of the study preferred hom...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, lastly, may, so, then, therefore, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2684.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 513.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23196881092 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01598072655 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.401559454191 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 893.7 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.204143824 57.8364921388 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.263157895 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94736842105 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.3886299706 0.218282227539 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127695798517 0.0743258471296 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100501130966 0.0701772020484 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236779450149 0.128457276422 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0773246052945 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.