The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal

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The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:

Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

Kensington Academy has given in-charge of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. Even though, this company serves low-fat and low-calorie meals, the students, including the parent's, who has become wary for the health of its son, do not find enjoyable. The aim of hiring Swift Nutrition is to cause students to eat healthy food. But, the students like to bring their own unhealthy food as they don't the food of this new food company. So the parent suggests to replace Swift Nutrition with the other meal provider, otherwise it will create a serious issue with the student's health. Here, the parent has given several premises to strengthen their conclusion. But there are several question if answered, make the flow of the argument weak.

The parent cited that their son and several of his friends came yesterday complaining about the lunch options provided by Swift Nutrition, and come to conclusion that the current suppliers meal doesn't serve the intended purpose. Here the parent haven't considered the actually figure of the entire Academy's students. How many students don't actually like the food of Swift Academy? They have considered the case of only few students that includes their son and his friends. If many of the students of the academy find the food of the current food supplier, the students won't actually bring their own unhealthy food and will eat the healthy food in academy.

The parent has predicted a serious health consequence for students if Swift Nutrition hasn't been replaced with the new vendor. But, the parent didn't mention the taste of their son and his friends. It may be a case that their son and his friends don't actually like the low-fat and low-calorie food, which usually has bitter taste than a fast-food, that is always tempting. The question what's the taste habit of their son and his fellow mates? If their habit is to eat fast-food, the recommendation of replacing the current vendor with the new one doesn't serve the purpose of the parent regarding the health issue of its son and his fellow friends since they don't like to eat even new suppliers meal.

In general, it may be said that the parent has failed to make a convincing case because of lack of statistical date and lack of proper reasoning. The argument ends with an unrealistic optimist conclusion based on wishy-washy observations that is likely to be incorrect. However, if the parent has answered the above questions clearly, its argument would have been more convincing.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (4 votes)
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Comments

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK
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flaws:
Need to argue against the conclusion:
'If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.'

suggested:
Suppose Swift is replaced with another vendor, there is no grantee that there will be a good consequence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 2033 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.739 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.486 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.45 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.759 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5