The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The newsletter of the West Meria Public health Council claims that to reduce absenteeism in their schools and workplaces, citizens should eat Ichthaid which derived from the fish oil daily because in nearby city East Meria people eat fish a lot and visit the doctor only once or twice per year. However, there are some logical fallacies that the newsletter should make them strengthen.
First, the newsletter shows weak analogy between the consumption of fish and seldom visit to the doctor because of the colds. According to the article, there is a report that fish consumption and the frequency of visiting doctors shows high relevance. However, there could be other reasons that citizens of East Meria don’t visit doctors often for cold. For instance, there is an exclusive health training center in East Meria that prevent citizens from disease and encourage them to exercise. if the newsletter provides more information to eradicate other possibilities, the statement will be more valid. also, the report does not give adequate credibility by not providing when the research occurred or the distribution of the fish consumption. The study could be researched 10 years ago and it could be different today. East Meria could have various fish can factories that make fish consumption skyrocketing. it could be the company that consume fish, not the individuals.
Second, it is insufficient to conclude that cold is the most frequently given reason for absence from school and work. there could be other reasons to prevent students and businessmen from going to where they belong. if the schools in West Meria are business related school and it is essential to absent the class to accumulate experiences from the workplace, absence due to experience will be the most frequent reason. also, the reason why the cold become the frequently given reason could be because it is the best excuse to give without questions. if citizens have serious family problems that forces to go home, it is difficult to speak it out load. Instead of explaining them, people will just say that they catch a cold.
Lastly, there is not much information about Ichthaid, which is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil will provide exactly the same effect as eating substantial amount of fish. The fish may prevent the cold, and the cold is the most frequently give reason for absence. Nevertheless, there may be other cold preventing nutrition that is contained in fish but not contained in Ichthaid. During the manufacturing of Ichthaid, the substance could be destroyed or transmuted. The newsletter should inform the citizens that Ichthaid contains the substance that prevents the cold.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 437 350
No. of Characters: 2194 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.572 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.021 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.635 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.515 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 495, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...disease and encourage them to exercise. if the newsletter provides more informatio...
^^
Line 3, column 607, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...ties, the statement will be more valid. also, the report does not give adequate cred...
^^^^
Line 3, column 914, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...hat make fish consumption skyrocketing. it could be the company that consume fish,...
^^
Line 5, column 120, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...eason for absence from school and work. there could be other reasons to prevent stude...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 218, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...essmen from going to where they belong. if the schools in West Meria are business ...
^^
Line 5, column 421, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...ience will be the most frequent reason. also, the reason why the cold become the fre...
^^^^
Line 5, column 552, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... best excuse to give without questions. if citizens have serious family problems t...
^^
Line 5, column 605, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'going', 'gonna'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: going; gonna
...ave serious family problems that forces to go home, it is difficult to speak it out l...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 649, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'loads'?
Suggestion: loads
...o home, it is difficult to speak it out load. Instead of explaining them, people wil...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, nevertheless, second, so, then, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2250.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 436.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16055045872 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71010866927 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477064220183 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 670.5 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.0370110952 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.272727273 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8181818182 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.111152116007 0.218282227539 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.032872005622 0.0743258471296 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0467411611245 0.0701772020484 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0832048093535 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0703787095994 0.0628817314937 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.