The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces A study reports that in nearby East Mer

Essay topics:

The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In the memo that appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council, it was concluded that daily use of fish oil would be a good way reduce absenteeism in the schools due to cold. However the author supports his argument with following three assumptions which if not corroborated would weaken the effectiveness of the argument considerable.
First of all, is the consumption of fish the sole reason for fewer visits to doctor by people of East Meria? It may be the case that they have adopted salubrious habits that has enabled them to be less prone to colds. They may have started exercising regularly or making better choice in purchase of food products thus making them less susceptible to diseases. It may also be the case, that the weather of the place is a contributing factor if less cases of cold in the area. If the weather is in general warmer in East Meria as opposed to West Meria, it may be possible, that weather may play a huge factor in number of cases of cold in the area. If any of these scenarios hold ground, then the author's assumption of fish consumption being the reason for less cases of cold would be weakened.
Secondly, are the colds the only reason for doctor's visit in East Meria? It may be the case that cold is a minor disease in the area, and people maybe suffering from some other disease which is causing them to visit doctor more often. Since the emphasis has been given on cold, the argument fails to account for other reasons which could increase the number of visits to doctor. It may also be the case that the people in East Meria suffer from a disease, treatment of which involves less visit to doctor but more home rest. In such case as well, the number of visits to doctor would be less but won't translate to increased attendance.
Finally, are the reasons given for absence from school or work accurate? It maybe the case that the employees and students of West Meria are inherently lazy and choose to miss work or school more than East Meria, and that cold is the most convenient excuse. It is possible that if dietary changes are implemented, the people make come up with some other excuse in order to take break from school or work. The advantages of dietary changes will not come to fruition in such case.
In conclusion, it is possible that introducing the use of nutritional supplements may increase the attendance levels in the area. However the assumptions made by the author severly weaken the justifiability of the the argument. Author needs to find evidence to corroborate the attendance records, motive for the visits to doctor by people of East Meria as well as an exhaustive analysis of the reasons of less amount of cases of the cold in the area in order to provide solidity to his argument.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 197, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...absenteeism in the schools due to cold. However the author supports his argument with f...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 277, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
... with following three assumptions which if not corroborated would weaken the effec...
^^
Line 2, column 444, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun cases is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...f the place is a contributing factor if less cases of cold in the area. If the weat...
^^^^
Line 2, column 697, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...f these scenarios hold ground, then the authors assumption of fish consumption being th...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 757, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun cases is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...f fish consumption being the reason for less cases of cold would be weakened. Secon...
^^^^
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ease the attendance levels in the area. However the assumptions made by the author seve...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...or severly weaken the justifiability of the the argument. Author needs to find evidence...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...or severly weaken the justifiability of the the argument. Author needs to find evidence...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, in conclusion, in general, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2276.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 494.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60728744939 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71445763274 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49671882237 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.429149797571 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 723.6 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9095850558 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.8 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116863255759 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0425226397407 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0625875419843 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0860324332368 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661705259504 0.0628817314937 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2237 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.519 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.438 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.938 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.339 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5