The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.
"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand our coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs."
Te manager of the television station in the essay concludes to restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level in order to avoid loosing any further advertising revenues which was changed in the past year. The manager has included few reasons that made him reach this conclusion, however, the reasons provided is contignent to several questions that must be answered to properly evaluate the validity of the decision.
First, what was the reason behind the change of increasing time to national news and less time to weather and local news in the late night news program. It is definite that every change in an organisation is made with a sim for the betterment of the organisation in some form or the other. There might be a situation that some veiewers had earlier complained about less time for national news and more for local news, and this change might have been a result of that and it would be pointless now to change back as it might cause grievances in the customer who had complained earlier. Hence it is important for the author to explain the reason for the change at the first place and also explain this solution of changing has adresed the problems faced earlier which would strengthen the argument.
In furtherance, it is provided as a reason that most of the complaints received from viewers were about the station's coverage of weather and local news. however, the statistical data and it's significance is missing. Statistical data such as the change in the number of complaints before and after the change is substancial. Also, the word "most" leads to uncertainity, percentage of the complains should be mentioned and there are no details about what are the other complains.
Additionally, another reason that local businesses that used to advertise during late-night news programs have cancelled their advertising contracts but the organisation must have collected the reason for the same. In order to increase the validity of the reason it is important to mention the exaxt reasons provided by the local businesses who cancelled their contracts.
Finally, to make better judgements the statisticata data should be provided which tells the percentage of time allotted for weather and local news, and national news both before an dafter the change. Questions such as if the local news is completely removed will be raised in case of missing data which causes vacillating the decision making group and if the statistical data are provided it would strengthen the argument.
In conclusion, despite the reasons given, the conclusion based on the reasons given is rife with unwarranted reasons and open to the questions stated above that mustt be answered satisfactorily to prove the plausibility of such presnentments.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 19 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2270 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.978 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.712 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.077 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.374 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 585, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...he customer who had complained earlier. Hence it is important for the author to expla...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 109, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stations'' or 'station's'?
Suggestion: stations'; station's
...ts received from viewers were about the stations coverage of weather and local news. how...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 153, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ons coverage of weather and local news. however, the statistical data and its significa...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 179, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...cal news, and national news both before an dafter the change. Questions such as if...
^^
Line 6, column 28, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'reasons'' or 'reason's'?
Suggestion: reasons'; reason's
... argument. In conclusion, despite the reasons given, the conclusion based on the reas...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, so, then, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2318.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08333333333 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82232667399 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456140350877 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 724.5 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.4558431185 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 154.533333333 119.503703932 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.4 23.324526521 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.26666666667 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.314484328762 0.218282227539 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115138744146 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133067931023 0.0701772020484 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150013928857 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.076630010903 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 14.3799401198 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.78 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.