The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the recommendation to the Monarch Books Board of Directors, it is stated that to set up a cafe in Monarch Books store in the place of children’s book section. The following conclusion is made on the assumption that opening a cafe attracts more customers and as census report states that population under age 10 is very low in the country. However, after more light is shed on the issue and more detailed facts are concerned, lack of answers through the argument leads me to question its validity.
First of all, as the store is known for the wide range of variety of books, how can be the uniqueness maintained if children’s section is closed? It might be possible that the people are coming to the store by bringing their children. In this way, maybe parents are also willing to read few books and buy some. If the children’s section is closed then maybe no parent comes to the store. People might be dispassionate about having a cafe inside a book store. If the above mentioned assumption is merit, then the argument is weakened.
Secondly, how accurate is the census report? In other words, does census report gives information about each and every area in the country? It might be possible that census has just given the information about the country but not about the state or the county. Perhaps, kids might be more in the region where Monarch Books is present. These kids might be good readers. If the above mentioned assumption is true, then the argument does not hold water.
Finally, where did the Regal Books opened their cafe? In other words, did Regal Books open their cafe by removing a section or they have put up outside the store? Maybe Regal store has a space outside their store and they have used it for this cafe. How well having a cafe is attracting the customers? It can be true that no person is showing any interest to attend a cafe. Having a cafe might exacerbate the situation of Regal store. If the above mentioned situation is true then the argument does not hold strength.
To conclude, the argument, which stands as of now, is considerably flawed. However, if more evidence is offered and answers to the above mentioned questions are given by the author, then the argument can be evaluated possibly.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1794 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.553 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.381 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.035 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 81, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'give'?
Suggestion: give
...ort? In other words, does census report gives information about each and every area i...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 36, Rule ID: DID_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean 'open'?
Suggestion: open
... Finally, where did the Regal Books opened their cafe? In other words, did Regal B...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 436, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...xacerbate the situation of Regal store. If the above mentioned situation is true t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1878.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 394.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.76649746193 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5880721985 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.459390862944 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.675747385 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.25 119.503703932 65% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4166666667 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45833333333 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174488075569 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0502377026371 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0636484654409 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0977279485275 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0799263940276 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 14.3799401198 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.09 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.24 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.