The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selecction oof books on all subjets.
In this argument, the author concludes that Monarch Books should open its in-store café using the space that used to sell children’s books. To validate this conclusion, the author points out that Book and Bean, who runs this mode well, announces to step into the market of Collegeville. Also, the percentage of the population under age ten declines around the nation. Nonetheless, some specific proofs should be provided to better justify the argument.
The information concerning the nationwide decline in the percentage of the population under age ten is not accurate enough for us to predict a decrease in the sales of children’s books. The author only informs us the data collected around the whole country which cannot reflect the real situation in Collegeville and if the base amount of the data is considerable large while the Collegeville’s local government incentives the parents to give birth, the sales of the children’s books will be a significant number nonetheless. Moreover, modern parents and teachers in Collegeville could be preferable to books when educating their children and students nowadays, which might increase the sales of children’s books instead. Therefore, for lack of detailed information about the number of children in Collegeville, the probability of a decline in the sales of children’s book cannot be a reason for replacing it with an in-store café.
Even though there is an exact decline in the sales of children’s books and Book and Beans’ case is successful, it is doubtless whether opening an in-store café is a fitful decision for Monarch Books. The evidence of Book and Bean might not be enough for the business manager of Monarch Books to make the decision. Monarch Books is successful because its reader-friendly atmosphere and a wide selection of books while devoting space of children’s books to in-store café might destroy a quiet environment and gives up a significant part of customers. In the past time, parents who took their children here to buy would buy themselves some books. Without more assurances of the success of building in-store café, it cannot be ascertained to arbitrarily take the action.
Even if the decision to build the in-store café is practical for Monarch Books, it does not mean that Monarch Books can successfully gain profits from the in-store café. The cost of turning a part of the store into could be a huge impact on the profits gained by Monarch Books because it means decoration, purchasing new machines and hiring new employees. Besides, after building the in-store café, both two book stores will lose their biggest characteristics as a special book store attracting consumers. Moreover, Monarch Books might lose competence since Books and Beans is more familiar with this business mode. Hence, before the manager makes a comprehensive survey on how to gain exact profits from building the in-store café, it is an abruptly determination.
A quiet book store with various types of books might be the most suitable business model for Monarch Books while the announcement from Book and Beans is not the biggest challenge for the manager to increase the profits. As a result, some specific proofs should be released to better evaluate the argument. In that case, the argument will be more reasonable and convincing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 537 350
No. of Characters: 2709 1500
No. of Different Words: 231 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.814 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.045 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.404 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 572, Rule ID: PAST_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'pastime'?
Suggestion: pastime
...a significant part of customers. In the past time, parents who took their children here t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 740, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('abruptly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('determination') instead of another adjective.
... from building the in-store café, it is an abruptly determination. A quiet book store with various ty...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, hence, if, moreover, nonetheless, so, therefore, well, while, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2826.0 2260.96107784 125% => OK
No of words: 537.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2625698324 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81386128306 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05225343858 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445065176909 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 859.5 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.2262664458 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.571428571 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5714285714 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.19047619048 5.70786347227 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252766300113 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0870057984235 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0827332637694 0.0701772020484 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158607968051 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0571437160834 0.0628817314937 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.