"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
The author here claims that promoting online degree programs in Humana University will solve the problems of budget and students enrollment. To bolster his claims author has put forward some of the evidences. One of them is, similar promotion of online degree programs in Omni univesity yielded good results in terms of increasing total enrollment of students and reducing expenditures. However, in the evidence provided by author, there are several flaws, assumptions, illogical rationale he made to support the arguments. In order to strengthen the argument the author should go through several discussions below.
Fistly, the author here is assuming that students enrolling in both Humana and Omni University have roughly equal access to the internet. It may be possible that the most of the students coming to Humana University don't have proper access to internet or they may not be able to afford gadgets that are required for online classes. On the contrary the students who wished to enroll in Omni University may have good internet connection and proper access to gadgets. Thus author needs to provide some concrete evidences which will distinguish the facilities accessible to the students attending both the colleges. Only then we will be able to evaluate the authenticity of this claim.
Secondly, Humana University may failed to grow because of lack of good standards in education and facilities. In this case offering online degree programs may not be of much usem to University as students will not opt to this because of sub standard education. On the contrary, the more enrollments in degree program of Omni Univeristy may be due to good quality of education. Hence, it is clear that growth of Omni Univeristy cannot be directly correlated to the growth of Omni Univeristy. The author here needs to provide some more strong evidences which will compare standards of education at both the colleges.
Finally, the author here finally with the rise of online degree programs offering there was as decrease in the expenditures of Omni University. However, the decrease in the expenditure of Omni Univeristy may be due to cut in the unnecessary expenditures and proper management of resources. As decrease in expenditures was result of proper management of funds that shouldn't be directly to rise of online degree programs offering. On the contrary the increase in expenditures of the Humana University may be due to pure mismanagement of fund and resources. Even if the online degrees are promoted and offered by Humana University it may not significantly reduce their expenditures
In a final summary, the argument is weak and unconvincing. Thus the evidences to above assumptions need to provided inorder to evaluate the recommendations of the author. However, the report fails to provide proper evidences and as a result the out come of suggestion that adoption of Omni Univeristy strategy in Humana University will decrease expenditure and increase enrollment in Humana Univeristy is dubious and as of now the whole authenticity of argument falls flat.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2537 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.125 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.87 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 208 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.779 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 187, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...lster his claims author has put forward some of the evidences. One of them is, similar prom...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 216, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...he students coming to Humana University dont have proper access to internet or they ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 365, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...sult of proper management of funds that shouldnt be directly to rise of online degree pr...
^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 60, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... the argument is weak and unconvincing. Thus the evidences to above assumptions need...
^^^^
Line 12, column 246, Rule ID: OUT_COME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'outcome'?
Suggestion: outcome
...de proper evidences and as a result the out come of suggestion that adoption of Omni Uni...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus, as a result, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2594.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 493.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.261663286 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71206996034 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93809588968 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419878296146 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 864.9 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.2822542848 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.909090909 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4090909091 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.36363636364 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221351833953 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.078795774883 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0618345205898 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136192173214 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.046610347503 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.22 48.3550499002 67% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.