In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend — the city-run public schools — comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools — even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do
The author believes that Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do based on their spending on a education. Still, the evidence the author offered is inadequate to evaluate the claim.
The author mentions that Parson City has 'recently' spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public school in both absolute and relative terms. However, we need to know the historical expenses on public school education in both cities. If Blue city realized the consequence of education twenty years ago, they have already built schools, hired teachers of high prestige, and promoted themselves. The government has spent a great amount of money at the very beginning and they benefit from their endeavors and investments on education recently without sparing a great amount of money on education. In contrast, the lack of the concept of the importance of education about twenty years ago make the government of Parson City to spend a great share of the budget on education recently in order to reach the educational level of Blue City.
Given that both of the cities start to invest in education at the same time, we still need the details of their expenses and the budget per student. If pubic schools in Parson City tend to spend their budget on constructions of dormitories and pubic schools in Blue City are willing to hire more esteemed teachers, hold lectures aiming to help students figure their future, and invest on cutting-edge technology to facilitate both teachers and students to lecture and learn knowledge, it is clear that schools in Blue City put a higher value on providing a good education.
Even if the numbers of residents in both cities are the same, the number of students may be significantly different. Supposed that Blue City is an aging city where only one thousand students enroll in public schools, retired people may account for a great portion of its population and are attracted by the healthcare system and its views of the landscape. As for Parson City is a highly potential city attracting people and investment opportunities where students may account for a great portion of its residents. As a result, the educational resource per capita of Parson City may be far less than that of Blue City.
To make the argument more convincing, the author should provide sufficient evidence as mentioned above.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 1976 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.867 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.602 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.457 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.636 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 172, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...residents do based on their spending on a education. Still, the evidence the auth...
^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: PUBIC_X[1]
Message: Did you mean 'public'?
Suggestion: public
...expenses and the budget per student. If pubic schools in Parson City tend to spend th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 245, Rule ID: PUBIC_X[1]
Message: Did you mean 'public'?
Suggestion: public
...get on constructions of dormitories and pubic schools in Blue City are willing to hir...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, so, still, as for, in contrast, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2020.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 406.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97536945813 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6663082055 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453201970443 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 634.5 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.548530206 57.8364921388 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.285714286 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35714285714 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267072028375 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102872619324 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0624539272658 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143622678725 0.128457276422 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0737183022778 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.2 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.