"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the numb

In order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have predicted result one has to consider its details meticulously and find flaws in its arguments about enacting the prohibition on skateboarding and consequently enhance the economy of Central Plaza. The thorough survey of this recommendation firstly needs to resolve some problems which are in the argument of the author as follow; what is the direct relationship between vandalism and litter to the business of Central Plaza? Many people will attract to the skateboarders because this activity is dealing with physical movements which are enjoying for people to see, also many youngsters like these kinds of activities, so there is a possibility that youngsters will peregrinate from other cities to Central Plaza which indirectly can enhance the economy of the region.

Other questions which are necessary to be answered to validate the arguments of the author are that in which extent skateboarding can be accounted as vandalism and what is the connection between vandalism and skateboarding? Do skateboarders have caused vandalism? Or maybe these are works of other groups of people like gangs who are living in the Central plaza.

The author has mentioned that the number of shoppers has decreased while the popularity of skateboarding has increased, but there is no essential relationship between these two issues because the gamut of jobs is not definitely limited to works which are dealing with selling skateboards. The reason that shoppers left their work is that maybe they have changed their profession or transferred to other cities, so the author has to answer the question that will the income of shoppers will rise if they focus their jobs on selling skateboards? Because based on the author's argument that popularity of skateboarding has increased, there is a possibility that business can return to its previous state just by selling skateboards and if this question couldn’t be answered, therefore the argument of the author is not reliable.

Another question that the author has to answer is that why the decline of business wasn’t considerable before the two years which he/she is mentioning? Have skateboards introduced to the plaza just in two recent years or they were there before this time period? If the skateboards were at the plaza before two years, so why the economy was good?

And the final question is about the type and degree of the prohibition that should be set to limit skateboarding and enhance the economy. Is limiting skateboarding to specific hours at daytime enough? Will these limitations decrease the vandalism if we assume that there is a relationship between vandalism and skateboarding? What is the guarantee that the business will enhance just by limiting the skateboarding without surveying other probable effective factors on the decline of the business of Cental Plaza? Because there is no guarantee that vandalism would decline and economy can improve so the recommendation of the Central Plaza store owner is not reliable.

Votes
Average: 6 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

flaws:
Don't develop the ideas from the introduction paragraph. Need to have introduction, conclusion and 3 to 4 paragraphs in the essay body. Like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2520 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.132 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.918 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.882 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.49 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5