A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring
The prompt asserts the research found from studying a specific type of monkeys providing clues on the effects of birth order and the similarities of the result found in human and pregnant monkeys of any type. There are major flaws in the statement which must be considered before counting it as a credible one.
Firstly, the study is based on eighteen rhesus monkeys which could be a special case and might not be considered as the general scenario. perhaps the monkeys were flocking together for having similar genes and so have similar traits like the hormone cortisol. They cannot represent the overall case of birth order on an individual’s level of simulation.
Secondly, Maybe the firstborn is not used to encounter with other unfamiliar monkeys as it has not been familiar with them for being the first born and may be it’s younger siblings have grown up seeing other unfamiliar monkeys. The first time experience could be a cause of increased level of stimulation that is created by cortisol hormone and not the birth order.
Thirdly, the claim that humans also produce high level of cortisol while seeing a parent after an absence is because the first born is more close to the parent than the later born which is a habitual fact and not because of the order of birth.
Finally, the claim that the first time pregnant monkeys have higher level of cortisol is because of their young age when level of hormones is always high and the pregnant monkeys with several off springs are probably older by age when the level of hormones is relatively low. perhaps the fact is completely age related and not birth order related.
In conclusion, the research requires much more investigations considering the above mentioned cases and it must have valid answers regarding the questions that have arisen before making any statement on the results of the research.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 316 350
No. of Characters: 1523 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.216 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.82 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.428 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.486 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.415 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.797 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...efore counting it as a credible one. Firstly, the study is based on eighteen ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Perhaps
... be considered as the general scenario. perhaps the monkeys were flocking together for ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an individual’s level of simulation. Secondly, Maybe the firstborn is not use...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 153, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: maybe
... with them for being the first born and may be it’s younger siblings have grown up see...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sol hormone and not the birth order. Thirdly, the claim that humans also prod...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d not because of the order of birth. Finally, the claim that the first time ...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 9, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of the order of birth. Finally, the claim that the first time pregnant m...
^^
Line 17, column 278, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Perhaps
...he level of hormones is relatively low. perhaps the fact is completely age related and ...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...related and not birth order related. In conclusion, the research requires muc...
^^^^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ment on the results of the research.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1597.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 316.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05379746835 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21620550194 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49725654629 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512658227848 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 485.1 705.55239521 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.3774369375 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.181818182 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7272727273 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.90909090909 5.70786347227 174% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.292746820333 0.218282227539 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103082719469 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0696220294633 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133360249308 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0740597534733 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.