A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
A myraid of reasons presented in the argument seem unwarranted. Firstly, receving professional dental care implies that the US is able to provide great facilities, but it is the responsibility of citizens not only to avail the facilities but to listen to dentist's advice. Visiting a dentist 1.25 times per year does not clarify anything. Secondly, eating habits play a significant role, Himalayan mountain region in Nepal may not have as many junk food eating children. Thirdly, children in nepal might use a better ayurvedic toothpaste , compared to the chemical ones being used in the US.Therefore, the arguement that regular health care is inconducive in prevented tooth decay is perhaps unwarranted solely based on the facts and deductions of author.
A significant cause of tooth decay is improper brushing and dental care. Now even if the dental care professionals are providing the children of the US with all the do's and don'ts to prevent tooth decay , they cannot be held responsible for the apathy of children. Children need to follow the advice for dental care to yield desirable results. Additionally, author fails to provide any insight along the lines of that "children are doing as they are adivised by dentists". Although, even if the author did provide evidence, the argument would gain some strength but still such a extreme conclusion requires more evidence in order to seem warranted.
Eating habits and dental care practices in different regions around the world can be disparate. The author fails to recognize this fact, Nepalese children may probably brush their teeths after every meal and take significant measures to protect their teeths from decay. Although, the US children have better knowledge regarding dental care, it is the Nepalese children who sincerely employ healthy dental practices. Since, the author fails to recognize the fact, the conclusion is further weakened.
Finally, Nepalese children might be using some ancient form of toothpaste developed natively, which is extremely conducive in protection from tooth decay. Now if it is the case then dental care may indeed not be as efficient as Nepalese toothpaste, but reaching an extreme conclusion and regular dental care is not at all helpful seems quite an implausible conclusion.
Since, the author fails to recognize many unstated facts his/her deductions are perhaps unwarranted, which rather than strengthening, weakens his stance. Hence the conclusion by the author is unjustified.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 2040 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.165 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.282 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 439, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun junk seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much junk', 'a good deal of junk'.
Suggestion: much junk; a good deal of junk
...ountain region in Nepal may not have as many junk food eating children. Thirdly, children...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 537, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... might use a better ayurvedic toothpaste , compared to the chemical ones being use...
^^
Line 1, column 591, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
... the chemical ones being used in the US.Therefore, the arguement that regular health care...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 115, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ow even if the dental care professionals are providing the children of the US wit...
^^
Line 3, column 203, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...the dos and donts to prevent tooth decay , they cannot be held responsible for the...
^^
Line 3, column 588, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...would gain some strength but still such a extreme conclusion requires more eviden...
^
Line 9, column 155, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...than strengthening, weakens his stance. Hence the conclusion by the author is unjusti...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2108.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37755102041 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88714257693 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548469387755 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 656.1 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.0530686859 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.111111111 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7777777778 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169752852921 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.053842539876 0.0743258471296 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0604018106214 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0927752723233 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0533910654607 0.0628817314937 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.