A recent survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and and self-reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that the adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they frequently had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20 percent also reported that they had felt sad, down or blue, at least three times within the past month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked to depression and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
In this report the author argues that spending too much time online is linked to depression and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online. this argument is based on a survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 5 and how adults who spend more than 30 hours a week online tend to show more behaviour of depression. however, this argument is rife with assumptions and several pieces of evidence are critical to evaluating the argument.
Firstly, the survey did not take in account the symptoms of commonly associated with depression before the survey began, thus the state of mind of the subject is questionable and hence there is no platform of comparison that increasing the hours spend online will lead to depression. however, if the survey initially began with inspecting symptoms of depression of the 250 adults before exposing them to hours spending online, that could give a crystal clear evidence of link between hours spend online and depression.
Then, the author stated adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they frequently had trouble concentrating. but, the author provided no evidence that adults who displayed low concentrating abilities at the end of the survey were good at controlling their concentration prior to the survey. Furthermore, the author mentioned that 20 percent of adult spending 30 hours per week felt sad at least 3 times within the past month, but there could be many other personal or professional reasons behind sadness of a person.
Finally, the author concluded that to lead a depression free life, people should spend less time online, but the author only conducted the survey for the age group of 30-45 and hence it does not provide any evidence for people with different age groups. if the author were to conclude that, he/she must expand the field of the survey.
Thus, evaluating this argument requires several critical pieces of information The author failed to provide a platform to compare the variation of symptoms of depression before and after exposing the subjects online, it also provides no evidence for people not falling in the 30-35 age group. Without above mentioned information, they conclusion falls to the risk of criticism and questions the reasoning or evaluation methods of the author.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1935 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.563 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 49.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.295 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.473 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.783 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In this report the author argues that spending too much...
^^
Line 1, column 192, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...ictly limit the time they spend online. this argument is based on a survey of 250 ad...
^^^^
Line 1, column 371, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...d to show more behaviour of depression. however, this argument is rife with assumptions...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 491, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re critical to evaluating the argument. Firstly, the survey did not take in acco...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...s spend online will lead to depression. however, if the survey initially began with ins...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 520, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ween hours spend online and depression. Then, the author stated adults who spend...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 165, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...y frequently had trouble concentrating. but, the author provided no evidence that a...
^^^
Line 5, column 573, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nal reasons behind sadness of a person. Finally, the author concluded that to le...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 255, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...e for people with different age groups. if the author were to conclude that, he/sh...
^^
Line 7, column 336, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he must expand the field of the survey. Thus, evaluating this argument requires ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, so, then, thus, well, at least
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1984.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04834605598 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62353676919 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493638676845 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 597.6 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.6975148068 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 165.333333333 119.503703932 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.75 23.324526521 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.25 5.70786347227 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.404724830929 0.218282227539 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.153939678098 0.0743258471296 207% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120435605549 0.0701772020484 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223803074476 0.128457276422 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113652352212 0.0628817314937 181% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 14.3799401198 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 48.3550499002 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.