A recently issued twenty year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are the members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
The argument predicts that the residents of Mentia would suffer fewer headaches in the future if they consume salicylates, which have a similar chemical composition as Aspirin, which is a medicine used to treat headaches. Also the study states that the average number of headaches reported by study participants decreased after consuming salicylates in food products. I find these points not as effective as to think that through salicylates, the residents of Mentia will have lesser amount of headaches in the future.
Firstly, there can be various other reasons because of which there was a decline in the amount of headaches in the last twenty years. There might be a decrease in workload for the residents of Mentia which affected the residents’ mental load and we saw a decrease in the number of headaches. So barely giving the credit to the consumption of salicylates is too idealistic.
Secondly, just because the chemical composition of Salicylates is similar to Aspirin does not mean that it will have a similar effect on an individual’s body. Even a slightest change in chemical compound may entirely change the chemical’s properties and hence one cannot conclude that salicylates would also help in treating a person’s headache.
Thirdly, even if salicylates do help in treating headaches, it also depends that with which type of food we are taking it. There is a chance that it may effect differently with different type of food. It may help in pacifying headaches with a sweet food while it may act adversely with spicy food. So it would be irresponsible to use it haphazardly and may effect in an ambivalent way.
Lastly, chemical compounds have their own side effects on a body. As the paragraph suggests, many food processing companies have started using salicylates in food items, too much intake of salicylates might produce severe side effects and one of the might even be headache. So there is a possibility that there would be more number of headaches in a long term future because of the consumption of salicylates.
In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the study must show all the properties of salicylates along with it’s side effects’ how would it react with different food items and it must provide evidence that salicylates were the only factor that helped in mollifying the headaches of the residents of Mentia.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1957 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.942 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.814 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.51 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.634 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 223, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... is a medicine used to treat headaches. Also the study states that the average numbe...
^^^^
Line 5, column 170, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...fect on an individual's body. Even a slightest change in chemical compound m...
^
Line 7, column 154, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...aking it. There is a chance that it may effect differently with different type of food...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 358, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...sponsible to use it haphazardly and may effect in an ambivalent way. Lastly, chem...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 365, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an ambivalent way" with adverb for "ambivalent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...le to use it haphazardly and may effect in an ambivalent way. Lastly, chemical compounds have t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 94, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...s on a body. As the paragraph suggests, many food processing companies have started ...
^^^^
Line 10, column 94, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun food seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much food', 'a good deal of food'.
Suggestion: much food; a good deal of food
...s on a body. As the paragraph suggests, many food processing companies have started using...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, while, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2040.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15151515152 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04194313204 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464646464646 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 656.1 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.5224665503 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.0 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2941176471 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88235294118 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26520485827 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0861755423649 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.063285623416 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144630072383 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0888092489357 0.0628817314937 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.