We must reduce overhead here at the café. Instead of opening at 6 a.m. weekdays, we will now open at 8 a.m. On weekends, we will only be open from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. The decrease in hours of operations will help save money because we won’t be paying for utilities, employee wages, or other operating costs during the hours we are closed. This is the best strategy for us to save money and remain in business without having to eliminate jobs.
The argue that the Jupiter Café needs to reduce its overhead costs by decreasing working hours to save money and remain in business may seem logical at first. The writer makes a valid argument, one that could be correct if its premises were true. However, the argument is based on assumptions which lack enough evidence.
The writer assumes that by decreasing work hours the costs of utilities, employee wages and operating will decrease so that they can save money better and compete with their competitors. In fact, by reducing the opening hours this café may lose some customers. For example many customers may go to the café before work and by opening the café later the customers may be late for work so they might be forced to change their coffee shop. Thus, to strengthen this argue these questions need to be asked that what is the number of customers that go to this café from 6 to 8am on weekdays and 6 to 9 on weekends? And by changing the working hours will the café not lose customers and by that lose sales? Has this strategy been effectiveness for competitors nearby? Were there not any other better solutions for saving money than decreasing working hours like promoting services or providing meals or coffees with high profits? Is there not any other way to decrease costs like finding better ways to supply utilities? Are other ways to compete with competitors been considered? Answers to these questions brings more evidence to support the writer’s argument and indicates that the argument and its predictions have been studied closely.
In conclusion, the writers argument and prediction is not totally wrong, every business needs to control its overhead costs and consider ways to save money and by bringing more evidence for the assumptions made by the writer the argue can look more reasonable .
Sentence: The argue that the Jupiter Caf? needs to reduce its overhead costs by decreasing working hours to save money and remain in business may seem logical at first.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to The and argue
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Need 5 paragraphs, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1486 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.809 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.424 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.457 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5